Growing old gracefully

Do you want to know the worst thing about growing old? It isn't that a large majority of the sexually active female population is now unavailable. It isn't even that it's harder to walk down the stairs in the morning than it used to be, because your knees aren't what they were. No, it's the fact that you start to get hairy ears. Here we have one of the great silent tragedies of humanity; no newspaper advertisements address the problem, everyone is too embarrassed to talk about it. Something should be done.

End of rant