peterbirks: (Default)
[personal profile] peterbirks
Do you want to know the worst thing about growing old? It isn't that a large majority of the sexually active female population is now unavailable. It isn't even that it's harder to walk down the stairs in the morning than it used to be, because your knees aren't what they were. No, it's the fact that you start to get hairy ears. Here we have one of the great silent tragedies of humanity; no newspaper advertisements address the problem, everyone is too embarrassed to talk about it. Something should be done.

End of rant

Date: 2005-04-22 03:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jellymillion.livejournal.com
Another thing nobody told us about. The bastards.

I recommend a Philishave with the "long-hair trimmer" attachment. A couple of seconds each side and your ears are good to go. Good enough, anyway, given that there's no necessity to look your best any more.

There are compensations to getting old.

Where £30 at Charles Worthington with a "stylist" was the minimum for a haircut 15 years ago, £6 at Mr Topper ("Number 5 all round please") is plenty and still leaves enough lunchtime free for a browse around the nearest book shop.

It takes less beer to get pissed, you savour it more and still get home by 10. And the following morning, instead of wishing you were dead you're relieved that you survived another night.

Hairy ears?

Date: 2005-04-22 08:57 pm (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
Um, Peter is not being serious here. There are worse things than hairy ears.

However, at 51 I have yet to experience most of them. I haven't even noticed any problem with my knees.

And it's a bit defeatist to dismiss any group of adult women as "unavailable". Some women seem to like older men.

Jonathan, near Barcelona

Re: Hairy ears?

Date: 2005-04-22 11:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] miserable-git.livejournal.com
Re the women, Pete was only referring to those with their own hair and teeth!

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