![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Three Days And Out The Door
Dec. 9th, 2008 07:14 amOh well, nearly holiday time, although the "slimming down" of operations means that I shall have to keeop an eye on things in case there is no-one in the office to send out the newsletter (I have a paid freelancer to write it when I am on holiday, but no-one is officially paid to send it out).
But, apart from one day twixt Xmas and New Year, I won't be back in the office from teh 12th to Jan 5th. Rock on.
It's important in life not to overplay this bipolar thingy. Sometimes things happen to you in life which are right to piss you off (and indeed would piss anyone off). These make you depressed.
The problem is, seeking things which give you emotional highs and lows is not good if you are a manic depressive, because your body's chemical structure is quite capable of creating those highs and lows of its own accord, thank you very much. Why so many manic-depressives "self-medicate" with alcohol must remain one of life's great mysteries, since alcohol is a mood-exacerbator.
Anyhoo, it doesn't stop me making the same mistakes again and again. I get into an emotional situation; i suffer the highs and lows; it mixes wrongly with my own chemical timetable (wow, wouldn't it be great to be able to control one so that it counterbalanced the other?). It all goes tits up, and I feel pretty bad (this, I wish to point out, is an example of British understatement).
I looked up mood charts on the web yesterday. I think that they might be of use to me, if only because I enjoy the stats compilation side of it. I think that I play at higher stakes when I'm manic (I can't believe that I will lose and money doesn't have much meaning) and depressive (I don't care if I lose because life has no meaning). When I am in stasis, I play at my "normal" stakes.
When manic, I tend to five or six table, while I carry on four-tabling when "normal" and depressive.
But it would be nice to keep some kind of record to see if these guesses are correct.
After several days of oversleeping (not sleeping too long in the morning -- just sleeping too much) the insomnia struck last night. I woke at 2am. Tempting though it is to get up in this scenario, it's important (for me) to stay in bed and to think of it as an unexpected gift of a lie-in. Sure enough, I got back to sleep at about 4.35, an hour before the alarm went off. But I doon't feel that tired. Had I got up and played some online poker, I would be utterly shattered at the moment.
The last good side to being sad is that I lose weight. I was happy earlier this year and the weight ballooned. Now I am sad, and it's coming off again. Everything has a positive side to it!.
A typical manic-depressive play from me last night, which HandGrabber chose to ignore. Was it trying to tell me something?
Hero is in SB. $97.
Laggy player is in Big blind (from UK, stats 40/20)
Six limpers at a v loose table, to me. I have AKo. I complete.
Big Blind follows the script by raising 8x to $9. Two other players call, with one of them raising another 35 cents to be all in.
I reraise all-in. Two other players fold. All-in player turns over A7o and my 76% chance rolls home for a $30 profit. Fuck you, squeeze player, I thought.
Probably not a play I would make when I was in a normal mood.
___________________
But, apart from one day twixt Xmas and New Year, I won't be back in the office from teh 12th to Jan 5th. Rock on.
It's important in life not to overplay this bipolar thingy. Sometimes things happen to you in life which are right to piss you off (and indeed would piss anyone off). These make you depressed.
The problem is, seeking things which give you emotional highs and lows is not good if you are a manic depressive, because your body's chemical structure is quite capable of creating those highs and lows of its own accord, thank you very much. Why so many manic-depressives "self-medicate" with alcohol must remain one of life's great mysteries, since alcohol is a mood-exacerbator.
Anyhoo, it doesn't stop me making the same mistakes again and again. I get into an emotional situation; i suffer the highs and lows; it mixes wrongly with my own chemical timetable (wow, wouldn't it be great to be able to control one so that it counterbalanced the other?). It all goes tits up, and I feel pretty bad (this, I wish to point out, is an example of British understatement).
I looked up mood charts on the web yesterday. I think that they might be of use to me, if only because I enjoy the stats compilation side of it. I think that I play at higher stakes when I'm manic (I can't believe that I will lose and money doesn't have much meaning) and depressive (I don't care if I lose because life has no meaning). When I am in stasis, I play at my "normal" stakes.
When manic, I tend to five or six table, while I carry on four-tabling when "normal" and depressive.
But it would be nice to keep some kind of record to see if these guesses are correct.
After several days of oversleeping (not sleeping too long in the morning -- just sleeping too much) the insomnia struck last night. I woke at 2am. Tempting though it is to get up in this scenario, it's important (for me) to stay in bed and to think of it as an unexpected gift of a lie-in. Sure enough, I got back to sleep at about 4.35, an hour before the alarm went off. But I doon't feel that tired. Had I got up and played some online poker, I would be utterly shattered at the moment.
The last good side to being sad is that I lose weight. I was happy earlier this year and the weight ballooned. Now I am sad, and it's coming off again. Everything has a positive side to it!.
A typical manic-depressive play from me last night, which HandGrabber chose to ignore. Was it trying to tell me something?
Hero is in SB. $97.
Laggy player is in Big blind (from UK, stats 40/20)
Six limpers at a v loose table, to me. I have AKo. I complete.
Big Blind follows the script by raising 8x to $9. Two other players call, with one of them raising another 35 cents to be all in.
I reraise all-in. Two other players fold. All-in player turns over A7o and my 76% chance rolls home for a $30 profit. Fuck you, squeeze player, I thought.
Probably not a play I would make when I was in a normal mood.
___________________
