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Android for dummies
Dec. 18th, 2010 03:09 pmI finally received a notification from O2 that my Dell Streak was ready to be upgraded from Android 1.6 to 2.2. Since the upgrade is 130mb in size, I waited, as advised, until I was home with my wi-fi. Unfortunately, I have left my charger behind in Bletchley.
After what I thought was a successful installation, I tried to get it to work. And I couldn't.
All that appeared was thishome page.
I tried pressing the three buttons on the right. No response. I tried pressing the two buttons on the screen. There was a response (it was clear that the screen knew that it was being touched), but nothing happened.
I looked on the web for information about the upgrade. No mention of my problem.
SO WHAT THE FUCK WAS I MEANT TO DO?
Well, since I needed a new charger, I decided to find the O2 shop in Lewisham. I found the O2 shop, but they don't sell chargers. However, the kid did show me what I had to do to get it to work. But my point is here, a simple phrase in English would have told me what I needed to do, SO WHY AREN'T THERE SIMPLE PHRASES IN ENGLISH TELLING YOU WHAT TO DO? I'll tell you why, because (a) software coders are too lazy to do anything in a language when an icon can be used instead (one which I can be guaranteed not to understand) and (b), most of them don't speak English anyway.
Annyhoo, having mastered this, apparently simple task that required me to go into Lewisham to get an 18-year-old to show me what to do (his companion must have been a bit puzzled when I was talking about root directories and hacking into the code to change the presure sensitivity, but was unable to turn the machine on. When I explained that I was dyslexic when it came to icons and faces, he seemed a bit more sympathetic). I then found a guy at a market stall who did not have a Dell Streak charger, but did say that he would phone me back later today to see if he could get hold of one before the end of the day. Market stalls rock!
Android 2.2 is not an "upgrade". It's more than that. It basically rips the interface to pieces and then leaves you stranded without so much as a Help file. So, everything that I had slowly learnt to understand, had fucking disappeared.
I knew that I had to run the "Restore" app, but I had no idea how to find the Restore App. Sliding left and right along the home interface got me nowhere, with the most useful screen looking like this.
As you can see, it is telling me what the weather is like in St Johns, Newfoundland*. I can also access my music. But how do I get to my applications? Wouldn't a simple word "Applications" be useful?
No, far too simple. Apparently instead you have to press something else. Eventually, purely by trial and error, I got there. I found the "Restore" app. I pressed it, and everything was restored properly from the way it was before.
And is there a "Help"/ easy guide to the new version of Android? Is there fuck.
So, thanks O2 for making what should have been a half-hour job at most an extremely frustrating experience. Thanks also for making me re-log-in to everything, and re-set-up the standard interfaces that I want. Thanks for not providing an easy and comprehensive guide to what Android 2.2 can do and, more importantly, how it does it. Oh, and thanks to Dell for making the charger interface virtually impossible to obtain anywhere. We are not all adolescent male geeks who like playing with computers as if they were toys, exploring hidden pathways to find out what is or is not available in the new upgrade; some of us just want computers to do the job efficiently and unobtrusively.. But you are most definitely all cunts.
* Apparently this is not Saint John's, Newfoundland. It's St John's, the very small village about a mile north-west of here heading towards New Cross. Why Accuweather should think that I am there, rather than in Lewisham or Blackheath, I have no idea.
___________
After what I thought was a successful installation, I tried to get it to work. And I couldn't.
All that appeared was thishome page.
I tried pressing the three buttons on the right. No response. I tried pressing the two buttons on the screen. There was a response (it was clear that the screen knew that it was being touched), but nothing happened.
I looked on the web for information about the upgrade. No mention of my problem.
SO WHAT THE FUCK WAS I MEANT TO DO?
Well, since I needed a new charger, I decided to find the O2 shop in Lewisham. I found the O2 shop, but they don't sell chargers. However, the kid did show me what I had to do to get it to work. But my point is here, a simple phrase in English would have told me what I needed to do, SO WHY AREN'T THERE SIMPLE PHRASES IN ENGLISH TELLING YOU WHAT TO DO? I'll tell you why, because (a) software coders are too lazy to do anything in a language when an icon can be used instead (one which I can be guaranteed not to understand) and (b), most of them don't speak English anyway.
Annyhoo, having mastered this, apparently simple task that required me to go into Lewisham to get an 18-year-old to show me what to do (his companion must have been a bit puzzled when I was talking about root directories and hacking into the code to change the presure sensitivity, but was unable to turn the machine on. When I explained that I was dyslexic when it came to icons and faces, he seemed a bit more sympathetic). I then found a guy at a market stall who did not have a Dell Streak charger, but did say that he would phone me back later today to see if he could get hold of one before the end of the day. Market stalls rock!
Android 2.2 is not an "upgrade". It's more than that. It basically rips the interface to pieces and then leaves you stranded without so much as a Help file. So, everything that I had slowly learnt to understand, had fucking disappeared.
I knew that I had to run the "Restore" app, but I had no idea how to find the Restore App. Sliding left and right along the home interface got me nowhere, with the most useful screen looking like this.
As you can see, it is telling me what the weather is like in St Johns, Newfoundland*. I can also access my music. But how do I get to my applications? Wouldn't a simple word "Applications" be useful?
No, far too simple. Apparently instead you have to press something else. Eventually, purely by trial and error, I got there. I found the "Restore" app. I pressed it, and everything was restored properly from the way it was before.
And is there a "Help"/ easy guide to the new version of Android? Is there fuck.
So, thanks O2 for making what should have been a half-hour job at most an extremely frustrating experience. Thanks also for making me re-log-in to everything, and re-set-up the standard interfaces that I want. Thanks for not providing an easy and comprehensive guide to what Android 2.2 can do and, more importantly, how it does it. Oh, and thanks to Dell for making the charger interface virtually impossible to obtain anywhere. We are not all adolescent male geeks who like playing with computers as if they were toys, exploring hidden pathways to find out what is or is not available in the new upgrade; some of us just want computers to do the job efficiently and unobtrusively.. But you are most definitely all cunts.
* Apparently this is not Saint John's, Newfoundland. It's St John's, the very small village about a mile north-west of here heading towards New Cross. Why Accuweather should think that I am there, rather than in Lewisham or Blackheath, I have no idea.
___________
