Brace Yourself

[peterbirks]

Well, the brace has been fitted (to the upper teeth, the lower teeth need less work so that won't start until next year, probably). And the feeling is, er, weird. Instructions on what I can and what I cannot do when eating give me a keen foretaste of what life will be like when I'm 80.

I'm patient enough to put myself through this now, but I don't think I would have been able to handle it as an adolescent. Perhaps those spoilt US brats aren't that spoilt after all; they are just rebelling against the aggravation caused by having a brace fitted. I mean, nine months isn't that long a time for me (or howver long it takes), but it must seem like forever when you are young, and (most importantly) still have hopes of attracting the following sex.


+++++

I dragged myself away from all of the things that I really need to do and watched some TV for the first time in a week or so. There was an excellent CSI featuring Kevin Federline -- not because of the plot, which wasn't that great, but because of the weird conclusion. Grissom (and the rest of the team) have some kind of group-think about the moral vacuity that is Las Vegas and the effect it must have on children going up there. "As long as it feels good, do it",and "What happens in Vegas, stays in vegas", are not such hot moral standards if you have to bring up your own kids in the midst of it.

Almost disturbing, and certainly not the travelogue for LV that the early series of CSI were. Is it getting like Larry David and Seinfeld? Have the writers come to hate the very place that they are writing about? Is Vegas, when you take a hard hard look at it, actually a very empty place for the soul?

Comments

Bits and braces

[(Anonymous)]

In fact they do, mostly, accept them very well, certainly far better than most adults. Tricia wanted me to wear removable plates, and went so far as to get them made, but I never got beyond putting them in for five minutes at a time, and even that was hell. Or take a patient I had as a student, a vicar that was very keen to get into TV work, but had a trapped upper incisor that predicated against him. So I fitted a simple plate with a screw and sat back and waited for the very simple change that would transform his entire face. and waited... and waited..... it wasn't until a few years later and a lot more experience that I realised that it wasn't my fault, and that he simply wasn't wearing the thing, no matter how often he told me he was. Nowadays I wouldn't even think of trying to treat an adult with anything removable, although having said that Tricia has had some good results with the "Invisalign" (tm) type of clear plastic correctors. Only any good for minor stuff though, wouldn't help you. Good luck with it all. John W

Re: Bits and braces

[peterbirks.livejournal.com]

Ah well, I have the wax to put on the fittings if they cause ulcers. I have the baby toothbrushes for the little people; I have the Fluorgarde. Yess, fully equipped.

And I also have the dull ache; which, of course, is good, because it shows that thepressure is being applied.

I think that I'd have the willpower to leave these things in if they were removable, but I wouldn't swear by it.

PJ

Re: Bits and braces

[real-aardvark.livejournal.com]

John,
I still want to hear more of the vicar. I feel somewhat unfulfilled.

Would this have been comedy, tragedy, or a spot at the end of the 9 o'clock news explaining that pandas don't really go to hell, because they have no soul in the first place?

(On reflection, that would be both comic and tragic. Possibly the most concise use of words I've used in a very long time.)

And why this obsession with incisors? About the only useful teeth I've got are incisors. Yes, they're at odd angles, and yes, they could do with a decent bit of sucking in to place by Diane Lane, but this is surely one of those things that only obsesses cosmetic dentists, and those who fantasise about Diane Lane?

I've got enough trouble with lousy fillings from the early '70s, plus the results of wisdom teeth that should have been nipped in the bud, and I don't need to worry about bloody incisors.

What's with you people? Get with the program. 21st century teeth are acceptable teeth. All they need is preventative dentistry and a dental nurse in a tight white dress who looks like Diane Lane and smells faintly of rice pudding.

Aargh.

Re: Bits and braces

[(Anonymous)]

The vicar was, for some unknown reason, desperate to get a regular slot on the North East version of the two minute sermon. But this was proving difficult while children started screaming and running from the room, every time he grinned out of the screen at them. My point was, that despite that, he still wouldn't wear the plate we made him, and, sincere man of God that he was, he consistently lied to me about it every 3-4 weeks for the best part of a year, until we gave up. Wearing braces is no fun, and it always amazes me that kids are so accepting of them.

As for your incisors, think what you might have done with a perfect straight smile, there would be no stopping you. Well, at the very least, you might not now be living next to the bonking Swedes.

John W

[simong-uk.livejournal.com]

Vegas is an exceptionally empty place for the soul. Even when everything is going well, you are killing the game, your -EV action on the pit games is temporarily incredibly +EV, you have some great dinners, great shows, great weather, it can still all seem very hollow in the space of 7 days.

And that's the best of it, it can of course be far worse than that, particularly if you have any weaknesses/vulnerabilities/addictions that drag you down lower still.

and of course the great paradox is that I, like yourself and many others, all feel the same way yet as the wheels leave the tarmac at McCarran, we are already looking forward to going back.

[peterbirks.livejournal.com]

Well, part of what I like about Las Vegas is its lack of prescriptive morality. It's about as "live and let live" king of place as you can get outside London and New York. But, that lack of prescriptive morality comes with a price. Your moral compass and mine were written many decades ago, but what happens if you are brought up in a city which doesn't set any moral compass apart from hedonism? I think this was what this particular episode of CSI was getting at. Asking, as it were, is this price worth paying?

My considered answer would be yes. To believe that the entire world goes to hell in a handcart without strict moral guidelines is to take the old Christian view that we are "born bad", and I don't believe that this is the case. However, I do accept that if there is less to keep your moral attitude "on the rails", and that moral attitude is less than desirable, then a laissez-faire society might lead to some undesirable results. That, I would contend, is the price of freedom.

PJ

Born to dribble

[real-aardvark.livejournal.com]

Music: "Swedes having sex next door." By "Swedes having sex next door."

Well, I was going to comment on American kids and braces, but I see that Webley has beaten me to it. Very much like being brought up without a moral compass in Las Vegas -- although I believe that the Corleones, amongst other families, would dispute this allegation -- the sheer every-day-ness of braces in your early teens seem to preclude anything more than the obligatory bitching at the parents. "Mom, do I *have* to wear these?" "Yes." "Well, in that case I'm going out to play with my friend from Al Quaeda..."

However, your suggestion that there is an "old Christian view" that we are "born bad" provokes me. First of all, it is a current Christian view, at least as far as I understand the doctrines of post-Vatican II Catholicism. (Which are rather more muddy than they used to be.) Secondly, it is essentially a Pauline and Augustine view, which if you are a thinking Christian would tend to put you off. I'm trying to think of two less sympathetic characters in the canon of the Church, but I'm failing. I realise fully that this makes it an ad hominem attack, but then again, I don't see an ad rationalem defence for the original propositions put forth by either of these wankers.

Technically, it is also wrong. The doctrine of original sin does not mean that you are "born bad." This is more the attitude that St Blair might take with his Holy Book of ASBOs. The general Christian position is far more subtle (except, natch, for the Catholic Church): you're born with a presumption that things are going to go wrong, but it's up to you to refute that presumption. The Catholic Church really only dates from around the 11th century. If you go back over the previous millenium, you're looking at the Orthodox Church (and a few weird offshoots, with which I would claim kinship.) The Orthodox Church has Adam and Eve as saints, precisely because they atoned for their sins.

Then again, I'm the autochthonous head of the Pre-Trullan Church, and as part of my iconoclast beliefs I regard the worship of, or even belief in, saints as pernicious idolatry. So I'm not in the best position to judge on the matter.

I don't know what this stuff about Larry David/Jerry Seinfeld turning against New York is, either. (Although it may be relevant, as my ex-New York ex pointed out, that the whole series was shot in Los Angeles, and about as authentic as a bagel made of sourdough.) I even went to the length of googling on this one, only to find the New York Sun opining that "Whatever its hallucinatory force may be, "Merchant of Venice" cannot be rated among Shakespeare's best comedies. It's better than "The Comedy of Errors."

These people are very odd. It had never occurred to me that Merchant was a comedy, although apparently the separation of young lovers is enough to make it one. Which brings me on to my other comment: what exactly does "attracting the following sex" mean? The canonical answer would be "cigarettes." I know you're no longer in a position to judge, but does a set of braces really mean that you can't stick a fag in your mouth? (No sniggering at the back, or the USA, there.)

Second coming of Born to dribble

[real-aardvark.livejournal.com]

Jesus fuck, is this really necessary?

What is so magical about 4,300?

I work with Ethernet at a fairly basic level, for Christ's sake, and (subtracting a couple of hundred characters for arbitrary protocol crap-ups) one can easily fit 8,000 into a single fucking packet...

And it doesn't even make sense in database terms.

Who are these morons?

Anyway, to continue:

"Great dinners, great shows, great weather?" Wow, this isn't so much a parallel universe version of Las Vegas as one based upon the third form of Riemannian space -- the horseshoe topology. I do not see this. The dinners are crap but (practically) free, the shows are spectacular but almost without exception mindless, and the weather is ... well, it's dry. Hot, and dry. Mostly dry. Very dry. No-one goes to Las Vegas for the dinners, shows, or (in particular) for the weather -- you'd go to Phoenix or New Mexico for that -- they go there for the gambling. Let's get this straight, people. The USA is still, three centuries on, very calvinistic about gambling. Las Vegas is basically there as a bolt-hole. Oh, and sex? Las Vegas' version of sex is risible (it would offend the mom'n'pop mid-western gamblers otherwise). For sex, you go even further out into the boonies and the desert.

Yes, an exceptionally empty place for the soul.

The other entertainment you can find in Las Vegas is to stroll around the aisles in the local Walmart and notice the remarkable amount of space devoted to "adult diapers."

If you think your will-power is up to keeping the braces on, just wait until you get to those ...

Re: Second coming of Born to dribble

[peterbirks.livejournal.com]

No longer are the dinners free, I fear. Well, not if you spend most of your time eating in the Bellagio, where you practically have to suck Andy's cock to get a buffet chit off him. And if you pay, well, it's good value (particularly given the state of the US currencuy -- my god I'm going to enjoy riling the guys from the midwest about their third world currency...).

As for the shows, I agree with you. They are choreographed to 90 minutes exactly, preferably without stars (meaning that you can rotate the ensemble and no-one notices) and preferably with a brand name. Okay, Cirque du Soleil is good, but does it have to be fucking everywhere? And most of the stage shows are on in London as well -- and better performed.

I now tend to travel to LV when the weather is good, for me. That means March to May and October to December.

But I like your analysis of "mom'n'pop' midwest gamblers, because that's what most of LV is; it's the equivalent of the junior accountants who go to raves at weekends and think that they are living on the edge. LV is "safe danger" for these mid-west lower-middle class people. You meet them by the thousand. That said, there are also the proper LV visitors (like, er, me) and the regulars who live there but enjoy a game of cards (such as the casino staff). These people, you can have a conversation with. But as for the fire marshall with his wife, daughter and son-in-law in tow, all from Madison, Idaho. Forget it.

Ahh, the adult diapers.

It's no jopke, mate; the number of slots players who piss themselves because they are convinced that the machine is "due" is frighteningly high.


PJ

Re: Second coming of Born to dribble

[simong-uk.livejournal.com]

"I do not see this."

Doesn't mean it isn't there. For some, if not all. For the dinners to be crap, you are definitely eating in the wrong places. The cost of the meal is largely irrelevant for me - not because I am so rich that I don't care (I'm not) but because some of the restaurants offer obscene value compared with the quality of food/level of service/ambience/cost that I usually endure over here.

Great shows don't have to be mentally challenging. From the purpose-built theatres a la Cirque to 2 middleweights knocking 7 colours of shite out of each other to a concert to a stand-up comic, I can enjoy it.

The weather suits me fine, I will take the low humidity. It gets a bit too mean around WSOP, but May or Sept is just right. Poolside service is great, hotel facilities are great, and there is a poker room 100 yards away where I can win or lose enough in an afternoon that the cost of the evening's entertainment is definitely going to be irrelevant either way.

So, Vegas is the perfect holiday destination for me. Even though after a week or so I still get a hollow feeling. There is nothing I want to do on holiday that I can't do there.

Sorry if that's in a parallel universe - no one has to go there against their will, but I am sure I will be there this year and the next.

Re: Born to dribble

[peterbirks.livejournal.com]

it was meant to be "the opposite sex". I did notice it upon re-reading, but decided I couldn't be bothered to do anything about it. I'm getting senile. I referred to a guy in print as "Jeremy Hawker", earlier this week, when his name is Michael Hawker. I've written about this guy at least 50 or so times, so why I should suddenly invent a new Christian name for him, I have no idea.

And, speaking of Christians, (neat segue, or what?) I happily bow to your greater knowledge in this sphere. I was, of course, gibbering gennerally on topics about which I know very little.


Then again, I do always check that I have typed "millennium" correctly....

PJ

Re: Born to dribble

[real-aardvark.livejournal.com]

To check typing, one would ideally be one or all of the following:

(a) A Guardian sub
(b) An anal retentive
(c) The slavish user of "Microsoft Word"'s spelling checker, up to and including inserting every single bleeding special case for each particular client at whose site you happen to be working, or to which you might be corresponding
(d) Somebody with a keyboard that works like an IBM Selectric, or in other words an old manual typewriter.

I'm afraid I have to own up to owning a bouncy, springy, laptop keyboard. I do review this stuff every now and again, but the odd inaccuracy slips by.

I'm just going to check the stupid box -- this one time -- to ensure that the prose above is elegant enough to meet the exacting standards of your blog.

-- Peter

(And, wouldn't you know it -- and I swear I only tried this once -- the only thing that came up in red was:

blog bog, log, blag, bloc, biog, bldg, blow, blob, blot, clog, flog, slog

res ipsa loquitur.)

I do sincerely hope you're not paying anything for this ludicrous crap.