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Some people are so inconsiderate
Jan. 4th, 2007 12:20 pmIf there are two unalterable certainties in life, they aren't death (ask God) or taxes (ask Ivana Trump), but
1) that all property renovation will cost three times as much and take three times as long as you expect and
2) no property deal ever runs smoothly.
I was beginning to think that I might actually have cracked it on the second one. I was at one end of the chain and the house that the couple downstairs are buying was the the other. In other words, two houses in the entire chain. Both surveys had been conducted, both mortgages had been approved. Christ, I thought, if we keep this up I might have completed by the middle of February.
There was a slight hitch yesterday when I spoke with my solicitor.
"Ah, Mr Birks. The normal way we go about this is for the deposit on the first house in the chain to have the deposit placed with the first vendor, who in turn places that money as deposit with the next vendor, plus a bit extra if that place is more expensive, and so on. However, because you are being advanced the whole of the purchase price, there isn't a deposit, which might make it a bit difficult for your vendors. So, could you perhaps send me a cheque for £12,500 when you exchange, and then I'll send the money back to you when you complete?"
"Sure", I said. "Why not".
Never let it be said that house-buying doesn't test your liquidity.
But, this was a minor issue. The bad bit was to come. As I wrote above, I was running out of ideas on what could possibly go wrong. Which demonstrated my lack of imagination.
How about this one? The vendor of the house which the couple downstairs are buying went and died on us.
Bleeagh. Clive downstairs muttered about a delay of "about a month", at which I wrily chuckled. The naivety of it.
Probate is a bitch. Perhaps, just this once, it won't be. But you have executors and solicitors and people from HM Customs & 'Give us 40% of your money' Dept. If you just have one beneficiary in the will there is a chance, a very very slim chance, that things will go okay. If the house is being sold by probate for the benefit of more than one inheritor, the whole thing can be tied up for years.
So, we'll see how it goes. But, well, how inconsiderate of the man, dying like that.
++++++++++++++
However, it certainly put off the time when I would have to write out the cheque, so I celebrated by going online and buying a digital piano. At least, I hope that I only bought one, because Barclaycard Business (the card processor for the piano vendor) is a pile of shite. It offers you the opportunity to pay by American Express and then, after you have gone through the whole rigmarole, tells you "this company doesn't acept American Express. Please start again using another card". THEN WHY OFFER AMEX AS AN OPTION IN THE FIRST PLACE YOU FUCKWITS.
Anyway, here's what I bought: A snip at £1368 including delivery and matching stool (Warfrog insert smutty joke here).
( Yamaha CVP301 )
Armando Iannucci was on TV last night being interviewed by Mark Lawson, and a little light was spread on the Alan Partridge matter, mentioned in this blog a while ago.
Iannucci, it appears, came up with the concept, which Coogan developed as a character. But the revealing part came when Iannucci said "and then someone said 'he's a Partridge' and someone else said 'yes, and he's an Alan'". The voices of Barlow and Herring almost certainly heard in the background there....
+++++++++
I'm single-tabling on Noble while catching up on TV, which is an efficient use of my time and is probably less distracting than three-tabling while surfing the web (which is what I do in the office). I played a bit of 50c-$1 but stuck mainly to $1-$2. I was down a couple of bucks by the end of it (at $1-$2) and up a bit more than that at 50c-$1. But the variance at 6-max is clearly massively higher, simply because you have to go to the end on much thinner hands.
I got bad cards last night, which is not necessarily a bad thing. I only saw 27% of flops over 300 hands but by the end I was about level. I was getting away from 'trouble' hands quite well, I felt.
$1-$2 on Noble appears to generate bonus money at about $2 per 100 hands, so regularly relaxing in front of the TV and plodding through the hands should generate the $500 in bonus money before the 90 days is up, even without moving up to $2-$4.
Much of 6-max is reactive. Players seem to be either very loose or far too tight. I would have thought an ideal percentage would be something like 35% VPIP and 23% raises. Hardly anyone was running along these lines. Some weak-tight people seemed to play as if it were a ring game, which made a raise first in against their Big Blind almost compulsory. Others had laughable umbers like 70% / 3% (the archetypal "wait to see flop" "any two cards can win" player). If my brain can handle the variance and I pick up a few wins, $2-$4 looks attractive. Above that and the games are thin on the ground. However, even though you can probably play a lot of 6-max without having any idea whether you are a winner or not, I think I can see some mistakes being made by two types of player, the tight multi-tablers and the loose "having a laughers".
1) that all property renovation will cost three times as much and take three times as long as you expect and
2) no property deal ever runs smoothly.
I was beginning to think that I might actually have cracked it on the second one. I was at one end of the chain and the house that the couple downstairs are buying was the the other. In other words, two houses in the entire chain. Both surveys had been conducted, both mortgages had been approved. Christ, I thought, if we keep this up I might have completed by the middle of February.
There was a slight hitch yesterday when I spoke with my solicitor.
"Ah, Mr Birks. The normal way we go about this is for the deposit on the first house in the chain to have the deposit placed with the first vendor, who in turn places that money as deposit with the next vendor, plus a bit extra if that place is more expensive, and so on. However, because you are being advanced the whole of the purchase price, there isn't a deposit, which might make it a bit difficult for your vendors. So, could you perhaps send me a cheque for £12,500 when you exchange, and then I'll send the money back to you when you complete?"
"Sure", I said. "Why not".
Never let it be said that house-buying doesn't test your liquidity.
But, this was a minor issue. The bad bit was to come. As I wrote above, I was running out of ideas on what could possibly go wrong. Which demonstrated my lack of imagination.
How about this one? The vendor of the house which the couple downstairs are buying went and died on us.
Bleeagh. Clive downstairs muttered about a delay of "about a month", at which I wrily chuckled. The naivety of it.
Probate is a bitch. Perhaps, just this once, it won't be. But you have executors and solicitors and people from HM Customs & 'Give us 40% of your money' Dept. If you just have one beneficiary in the will there is a chance, a very very slim chance, that things will go okay. If the house is being sold by probate for the benefit of more than one inheritor, the whole thing can be tied up for years.
So, we'll see how it goes. But, well, how inconsiderate of the man, dying like that.
++++++++++++++
However, it certainly put off the time when I would have to write out the cheque, so I celebrated by going online and buying a digital piano. At least, I hope that I only bought one, because Barclaycard Business (the card processor for the piano vendor) is a pile of shite. It offers you the opportunity to pay by American Express and then, after you have gone through the whole rigmarole, tells you "this company doesn't acept American Express. Please start again using another card". THEN WHY OFFER AMEX AS AN OPTION IN THE FIRST PLACE YOU FUCKWITS.
Anyway, here's what I bought: A snip at £1368 including delivery and matching stool (Warfrog insert smutty joke here).
( Yamaha CVP301 )
Armando Iannucci was on TV last night being interviewed by Mark Lawson, and a little light was spread on the Alan Partridge matter, mentioned in this blog a while ago.
Iannucci, it appears, came up with the concept, which Coogan developed as a character. But the revealing part came when Iannucci said "and then someone said 'he's a Partridge' and someone else said 'yes, and he's an Alan'". The voices of Barlow and Herring almost certainly heard in the background there....
+++++++++
I'm single-tabling on Noble while catching up on TV, which is an efficient use of my time and is probably less distracting than three-tabling while surfing the web (which is what I do in the office). I played a bit of 50c-$1 but stuck mainly to $1-$2. I was down a couple of bucks by the end of it (at $1-$2) and up a bit more than that at 50c-$1. But the variance at 6-max is clearly massively higher, simply because you have to go to the end on much thinner hands.
I got bad cards last night, which is not necessarily a bad thing. I only saw 27% of flops over 300 hands but by the end I was about level. I was getting away from 'trouble' hands quite well, I felt.
$1-$2 on Noble appears to generate bonus money at about $2 per 100 hands, so regularly relaxing in front of the TV and plodding through the hands should generate the $500 in bonus money before the 90 days is up, even without moving up to $2-$4.
Much of 6-max is reactive. Players seem to be either very loose or far too tight. I would have thought an ideal percentage would be something like 35% VPIP and 23% raises. Hardly anyone was running along these lines. Some weak-tight people seemed to play as if it were a ring game, which made a raise first in against their Big Blind almost compulsory. Others had laughable umbers like 70% / 3% (the archetypal "wait to see flop" "any two cards can win" player). If my brain can handle the variance and I pick up a few wins, $2-$4 looks attractive. Above that and the games are thin on the ground. However, even though you can probably play a lot of 6-max without having any idea whether you are a winner or not, I think I can see some mistakes being made by two types of player, the tight multi-tablers and the loose "having a laughers".
