Piracy

[peterbirks]

I read an analysis this wekk which predicted that, as the global downturn took hold, there would be a return of old "piracy hotspots" such as the Strait of Malacca.

When I read this at first I had a fragmentary image of old "piracy hotspots" such as the English Channel off the coast of Cornwall, or off Cape Cod in Massachusetts, reappearing. And the pirates, along the lines of the Amish, would wear 18th century costume, preferably with a bit of Captain Hook influence.


After all, why should Somalia have all the fun (although rumours that the Air France plane from Brazil to Paris had turned up 50 miles off the Somalian coast turned out to be false)? Bring back old-fashioned pirate gear and flags, I say. Give Cornwall some kind of "Pirate exemption" so that the ne'er-do-well pirate rascals could have somewhere to hide out. After all, the UK would be better served if Cornwall was sealed off anyway, so giving a boost to its economy by adding some kind of piracy permission would be a good quid pro quo.

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Comments

Obligatory Response

[real-aardvark.livejournal.com]

For Cornwall: read City of London.

For Button-Hooks: read Chinos and Dockers.

For Treasure Trove: read Mandatory Bonus.

Well, that all worked out very well, didn't it? Although, I agree, it's about time we redistributed the vicious generation of non-productive personal wealth to the regions; and Cornwall's been lagging a little ever since King Alfred burned the scones and had to throw the clotted cream away because it was past its sell-by date.

Historically, Cornwall is more of a focal point for Wreckers than for Pirates. The two are operationally entirely different enterprises. On the other hand, in terms of my ad-hoc analogy, they are for all practical purposes indistinguishable, so you may have a point.

You recently voiced a desire for Greenspan's/Bernanke's/Noddy's helicopter to scatter munificence from their virtual helicopter over London, as a hard-done-by sort of burg. I'm sure I speak for the other 47 million of us when I offer to go half-way. For helicopter, read Airbus 330. For munificence, read dead bodies and burning machinery ... but London is the place to go; no question.

I'm beginning to lose faith with Air France. Firstly, I take a flight to Paris, and their in-flight food is actually worse than one would expect from a chartered flight from Luton. Secondly, there's the death of Concorde.

Now, thirdly, they can't even deal with an ordinary little electrical storm on the edges of the Sargasso Sea when piloting a simple fly-by-wire aeronautic flying-type machine. I notice that "fly-by-wire" has barely been mentioned through the media, if at all.

Well, all we can do is to hope and to pray. Come, friendly Airbuses, and spatter over the South East of England. (I'll give you a clue: it's not unadjacent to Slough. Don't use SatNav, though. It isn't in rural Yorkshire. Although, if you were trying to go there and hit Stamford Bridge instead, the world would be a better place.)

Incidentally, I highly recommend the board game "Jamaica." (Based on syncopated rhythm, obviously. "Advanced Jamaica" introduces Dub. "Retarded Jamaica" introduces the smuggling of cocaine by ingenious and possibly intra-uterine means; I think "Contraband" did a better job of that.)

No, I'm kidding. The entire point of Jamaica is to rain molten death on the diseased South East of England. This may not be obvious on first reading the rules, but I have the addenda and corrigenda; available for a SAE&P.

Re: Obligatory Response

[(Anonymous)]

"Well, all we can do is to hope and to pray. Come, friendly Airbuses, and spatter over the South East of England. (I'll give you a clue: it's not unadjacent to Slough. Don't use SatNav, though. It isn't in rural Yorkshire. Although, if you were trying to go there and hit Stamford Bridge instead, the world would be a better place.)"
Given the result on Saturday I could not disagree!

Ben
Liverpool