Dear Mr O'bama

[peterbirks]

To:
Barracks O'bama
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue Northwest
Washington D.C. 20500

From The Manager
Federal Reserve Bank
www.federalreserve.gov

July 31, 2011

Dear Mr O'bama

We are writing to inform you that your overdraft facility of $14,300,000,000,000 . . . . . expires on . . . . August 3rd . . . and we urgently ask you to contact us either to make new arrangements, or to clear the deficit by the aforementioned date. Your current deficit is . . . . 14,299,999,999,980.

An administration fee of $45 has been deducted from your account for this letter.

Yours:

Rachel Colburn (Ms).
Loans supervisor.




To:
Barrab Osama
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue Northwest
Washington D.C. 20500

From The Manager
Federal Reserve Bank
www.federalreserve.gov

August 1 2011

Dear Mr Osama:

We note with concern that your overdraft is now . . . $14,300,000,000,025, which is . . . . . . $00,000,000,000,025 . . . . more than your agreed limit. You are urgently asked to contact us as soon as possible about clearing this debt.

Because you have exceeded your agreed limit, we regret that will be unable to extend your overdraft facility on the same terms (2.5%) when it expires on . . . . . . August 3rd . . . . . . . . The rate for unauthorized overdrafts is . . . . . . 28.6% per annum. Once again we request that you clear your debt with us as soon as is feasible.

A fee of $65 has been deducted from your account as an administration charge.


Yours:

Rachel Colburn (Ms).
Loans supervisor



To:
Barry Obsama
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue Northwest
Washington D.C. 20500

From The Manager
Federal Reserve Bank
www.federalreserve.gov

August 2 2011

Dear Mr Osama:

Thank you for your email and telephone call of August 1. We are sorry that you are upset at our attitude, and we note that if we had not charged you $45 you would not have exceeded your overdraft limit. However, we are obliged to point out that we have a number of responsible customers who do not abuse our overdraft facilities, and for us not to charge customers fair administration fees would result in those customers subsidizing other, less responsible money spenders. We would also note that your overdraft is now $14,300,000,000,090 , which is . . . . . . $00,000,000,000,090 . . . . . . above your authorized limit. As such we feel that we cannot offer you even our "bad customer" rate of . . . . . 28.6% per annum . . . . . Please repay the funds owed as soon as possible.

A fee of $105 has been levied for this communication.

Yours,

Rachel Colburn (Ms)
Loans supervisor.





To:
Absalom Impala
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue Northwest
Washington D.C. 20500

From The Manager
Federal Reserve Bank
www.federalreserve.gov

August 3 2011


Dear Mr Impala,

Thank you for your telephone call. We regret your decision to, as you term it, "send in the troops and shut you the fuck down". However, we acknowledge the receipt of . . . . $14,300,000,000,000 . . . . . in Chinese gold. However, we wish to point out, due to administration charges, that your account is still in debit to the tune of $195. We request that you cut up your credit card. Should you attempt to use your credit card anywhere in the Western World, it will be declined. Your name has also been placed on an industry black list, meaning that you will not be able to obtain a credit line or credit card with any US financial institution. You will no longer qualify for FDIC protection. Your debt may be passed on to another institution for forcible collection.


Yours,

Rachel Colburn (Ms)
Loans officer.

Comments

[sigrid-stallard.livejournal.com]

Thank you for the laugh.
xxx

Dear Bank Manager

[miltonkeynesman.livejournal.com]

Peter - you are alive and well. And appreciated this last post. Good stuff. Michelle was asking me to explain this US Budget caper, but she nodded off during my explanation. Actually we then got into a discussion on the definition of a trillion. I was right, she was wrong which is sad when she's the maths teacher, but she did do better than me on University Challenge.

I was getting worried about your non-posting, but instead of alerting the police to come and check on you, we disapppeared to Berlin for a few days. Very impressive all round. A city with a lot of "recent history" which isnt afraid to say that's how it was and now we move forward, but we wont forget. Lots of things to do and see and high on a list of places to revisit.

I was amazed at the Russian War memorial in Tiergarten. After all the fighting and the virtual destruction of the city, the Russians actually set to and built this memorial in the Autumn of 1945. There are pictures of it sitting in a complete wilderness, no doubt whilst many Germans, and probably back east many Russians, starved and froze. Bizarre, but perhaps understandable given everything. Ironically the haste of building meant it ended up in the western sector !

Anyway I hope you enjoy Cyprus. Dont post every day, but keep us entertained. Cheers. Richard.

Re: Dear Bank Manager

[real-aardvark.livejournal.com]

I do so hate to be cynical, but a Russian War Memorial in Berlin in August 1945?

I wonder what possible purpose that could have served.

No doubt it was a colourful explosion of raping & murderous & looting Siberians and Outer Mongolians, as would be an accurate depiction of the times.

(Not that the conclusion of most large-scale wars is any different. But, still.)

Irony? What irony? Is this as in "curtainy?"

Re: Dear Bank Manager

[miltonkeynesman.livejournal.com]

It just seemed a tad insensitive to build a memorial as a priority when there was so much suffering both there in Berlin/Germany but also across the Soviet Union at the time. However no doubt Stalin thought it a good idea. As regards aesthetics it was a classic of its type and as of today a very acceptable monument to my eyes.

I'm not too sure if the raping & looting was confined to a particular ethnic grouping. I suspect not.

Certainly "irony" is much over-used and often wrongly. I thought the irony was that having chosen to build this monument so hastily, that it ended up in the British sector, I think. However being generous types the Brits did allow free Soviet access to the Monument during the cold war years. If I've misused the word irony I'm prepared to be put right.

Re: Dear Bank Manager

[peterbirks.livejournal.com]

I was in Berlin in 2002 for a few days, and it rained. I mean, it really rained. Berlin was just on the edge of the floods that hit Prague and, if I recall, the European Athletcis chamionships.

In the rare hours when it didn't rain, I walked around some of the city, and what struck me was how HARD it was to tell where the Berlin wall had been. I think I've got some photos up in my Facebook gallery (they had to be scanned), so I could put them up here.

I was attracted to Berlin in a "I could live here" way that I didn't feel about Hamburg. I'm not sure why, but perhaps it just seemed a bit "edgier". I looked at property prices and there were parts which were close to the centre and still reasonably priced. Then I idly thought about buying a block of flats (say, 500 flats) and trying to make a business out of property management.

I liked the trams!

As for Mr Aardvark, I'm afraid he lost me a bit on that one. As he is perfectly aware, the Russian move into Berlin was, on the part of the Russian soldiers, very much one of vengeance for what they saw as a murderous attack on the motherland and its inhabitants. There was no need for encouragement from Stalin. This time it was, indeed, personal. I'm not trying to justify this, but I do see the point of view that the idea of "honourable rules of war" had gone out of the window on the eastern front a long time before the Russians arrived in Berlin. If they could have had their way, they would probably have built the monument out of German bones.

PJ

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Re: Dear Bank Manager

[miltonkeynesman.livejournal.com]

Peter - I seem to recall you mentioning the Berlin/rain visit before. Others on our trip made comments about how much Berlin has changed even over short periods of time, with new ideas & improvements. I would guess therefore you would see big changes 10 years on. As regards the wall, they seem to be agreed on keeping a few bits "for the record" and the path of the rest is marked by a double row of cobbled stones set into the ground, so it is reasonably easy to follow. What this doesnt give you is the width of the whole no go strip/ditches/wire/towers etc. I went a bit anorak and bought a couple of books and a map of it.

Berlin is not expensive compared with say Paris and other big Euro cities. All in all impressive. Cheers mate.

Re: Dear Bank Manager

[real-aardvark.livejournal.com]

True; but history insists that they also sent exogenous (is that the right word?) troops in from the far east of the USSR to ensure that things were even worse. Much as the PRC used tank divisions from Inner Mongolia during the Tiannamen Square evennements.

I do believe (yet am prepared to be contradicted) that there was a genuine element of savagery dictated from the top. It's not like Stalin didn't have history on this one: vide his habitual use of Latvians in OGPU and the early years of the revolution, not to mention his happy tendency to use one set of Caucasian tribespeople against another set of Caucasian tribespeople (Mingelians spring to mind).

Anyway, I wasn't really arguing about that. I'm just confused as to why "I was amazed at the Russian War memorial in Tiergarten." Basically the motivation behind such a thing is bleedin' obvious.

I was, however, and not for the first time, unpardonably rude. I'm not going to beg for forgiveness, because it won't be for the last time, either.

And if there's one thing I can't stand, it's a snivelling little politician begging forgiveness for something they know they were quite happy doing in the first place and will be quite happy doing again.

Re: Dear Bank Manager

[real-aardvark.livejournal.com]

Sorry 'bout the "irony" thing -- I'm well aware that you understand irony.

Note my addiction to bad puns, here being "curtainy."

Of course it wasn't confined to a particular ethnic grouping. On one side you have racism ("it's the niggers wot did it!"), and on the other you have political correctness ("we are all to blame").

And, in reality, you have cynical mob manipulation. As long as you ensure a decent-sized core of people who feel no kinship with the civilian enemy, and preferably if you feed them a constant stream of lies, then you don't need to worry about the rest -- they'll just follow along in the heat of the moment.

This, basically, is what happened in the dying days of the Reich on the borders of Berlin. It's tempting to say that they had it coming to them, and it might even be true. But it's undeniable that that vicious old thug Stalin wanted to make sure it was coming to them; and he used all his thirty years of internal terror tactics to ensure that it did.

Re: Dear Bank Manager

[peterbirks.livejournal.com]

Oddly, this is an area where I have the relevant books. A cursory glance (because I really ought to be in bed by now), shows that "every opportunity had been taken to drum in the scale of German atrocities in the Soviet Union" (Berlin, The Downfall, Antony Beevor, p 169). Political officers were the driving force behind this.

So I'm happy to accept that there is evidence of encouragement from at least one political level up. Either these guys were doing it because THEY were so ordered from above, or they were doing it because they had taken on board Stalin's public exhortations for revenge back in 1942, and thought that this was what was required, without being directly ordered so to do.

As for the exogenous troops, I would have thought that one factor would be that most of the non-exogenous troops had by this time been killed. I would have thought that, had they been alive, those non-exogenous troops would likely have been far more vicious in their actions than some bloke drafted in from Inner Mongolia. But I accept that most of these arguments are academic. I guess I juust didn't want to condemn the Soviet troops out of hand for their barbarity. There were clearly historical causes, and these historical causes were very much kept alive by the Communist political officers.

PJ