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[personal profile] peterbirks
Occasionally when the throught of earning $8 an hour in bonuses from Ultimate for the rest of my life strikes me as not a little tedious, I get business ideas. Here's my latest.

Greatest Hits Non-Correlated Risk Inc has filed a shelf registration to raise $100m in capital for general corporate purposes. GHNCR is an investment fund where it is guaranteed your current investments will be 100% non-correlated with your investment with GHNCR. Suppose you invest $1m with us and $1m in the commodities market:

Your return from us if the commodities market goes up 50% in the next year ..... Nil
Your return from us if the commodities market falls 50% in the next year ....... Nil

If you run this through your Excel spreadsheet, I think you will see that there is clearly no correlation between the performance of the commodities market and the performance of your investment with us.

And there's more. This non-correlation spreads throughout the investment sector. Pineapple derivatives, Mezzanine debt, junk bonds, T-Bills. No matter what the beta, complete non-correlation is guaranteed, or your money back!.

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