Viral balls-ups
Apr. 12th, 2009 12:01 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
peterbirksI use a program from a company called IdleMiner to "grab" hand histories from the Pacific poker site, because the Pacific system doesn't offer that facility. PacificHandGrabber is a useful little tool, but it does behave kind of oddly. First, it won't start unless the Idleminer web site is up and running. Doubtless some IT geek can explain to me like, duh, obviously, dude, 'cos how could the QRNS interface with the DNS underflow otherwise?' but it doesn't seem to me that it HAS to be this way.
Anyhoo, I suspect that this little foible of IdleMiner has caused McAfee all-of-a-sudden to decide that HandGrabbber.exe is Malware and a trojan. I'm note alone in this. Others have posted on 2+2 (see, the site does have some uses) to state that the same thing has happened to them.
I solved the problem by hunting through McAfee and finding the "Restore" option. Unfortunately, there is no way to tell McAfee that a program is "safe". So, obviously, the next time a scan took place, it quarantined the program again.
I emailed McAfee about this. I didn't mention the other two things, like the pathetically non-intuitive way you have to enter a phone number to get the feedback to accept it as a phone number (has it occurred to no-one there that it might just be an idea to give an example of the format that is "valid", rather than just say "invalid format"?) or the fact that you can't override the quarantine for specified programs. I've discovered that it's best just to mention one thing at a time.
McAfee offers "real-time Internet chat". I've fallen for this trick in the past. By "real time Internet chat" they mean "someone who is a total fuckwit will say 'can you hold for a while' and leave you sitting there like a lemon, wathing your life pass by." You can easily waste two hours in 'real-time internet chat'. So, better to email them and wait.
This is the reply I got back. As I said to them in my next response, this is a bit like emailing a garage to explain that an indicator is faulty, and then getting an email back saying what the function of the indicator is and how it works:
The one key takeaway I get from this is that McAfee thinks that by just automating your name at the start of three paragraphs, you will think it's a 'personal' response, rather than just something that a dick-fuck has taken from the "database of answers" under "Artemis" -- that being the keyword in my complaint.
The second takeaway from this message therefore is that, like most IT companies, McAfee thinks that all non-IT people are stupid morons because they don't understand geekspeak.
The third takeaway is that McAfee clearly don't actually read the emailed complaints.
So, I'm quite looking forward to the survey that McAfee send me. I also really hope that someone there gets to read this because they have Google Alerts working.
+++++++++++++++++++++
Anyhoo, I suspect that this little foible of IdleMiner has caused McAfee all-of-a-sudden to decide that HandGrabbber.exe is Malware and a trojan. I'm note alone in this. Others have posted on 2+2 (see, the site does have some uses) to state that the same thing has happened to them.
I solved the problem by hunting through McAfee and finding the "Restore" option. Unfortunately, there is no way to tell McAfee that a program is "safe". So, obviously, the next time a scan took place, it quarantined the program again.
I emailed McAfee about this. I didn't mention the other two things, like the pathetically non-intuitive way you have to enter a phone number to get the feedback to accept it as a phone number (has it occurred to no-one there that it might just be an idea to give an example of the format that is "valid", rather than just say "invalid format"?) or the fact that you can't override the quarantine for specified programs. I've discovered that it's best just to mention one thing at a time.
McAfee offers "real-time Internet chat". I've fallen for this trick in the past. By "real time Internet chat" they mean "someone who is a total fuckwit will say 'can you hold for a while' and leave you sitting there like a lemon, wathing your life pass by." You can easily waste two hours in 'real-time internet chat'. So, better to email them and wait.
This is the reply I got back. As I said to them in my next response, this is a bit like emailing a garage to explain that an indicator is faulty, and then getting an email back saying what the function of the indicator is and how it works:
Dear Peter ,
Thank you for contacting McAfee Technical Support. My name is Arun. Having reviewed your e-mail regarding “Artemis Issue”, I would be happy to help you in resolving this issue.
Peter , Using advanced technologies from McAfee Avertr Labs, McAfee Artemis Technology offers real-time security using a combination of signature and behavior analysis with community threat intelligence.
McAfee Artemis Technology will quickly notify you if the file should be blocked or quarantined through the following steps:
1. You get a file that VirusScan deems suspicious and for which there is no signature in the .DAT database on your computer.
2. Using McAfee Artemis Technology, your computer sends a fingerprint of the file for instant lookup to the comprehensive database at McAfee Avert Labs.
3. In less than a second, if the fingerprint is identified as known malware, an appropriate response is sent to you to block or quarantine the file.
Using McAfee Artemis Technology requires no effort on your part. We have automatically added this additional protection for our customers. In the future, you may see that a suspicious file has been quarantined or blocked. You can identify this as being an Artemis detection by its name, which will begin with the word Artemis.
Peter , we hope that we’ve answered your questions effectively. If not, feel free to contact support again. Please include all previous correspondence when replying.
Please run the McAfee Virtual Technician (MVT) and check whether your issue has been resolved or not. If not please mention the MVT ID number in your next interaction.
The link for the MVT is http://mvt.mcafee.com/mvt/mvtapp.exe
If you find it difficult to follow these steps feel free to contact our free technical support chat option at http://service.mcafee.com/LocaleSelect.aspx?lc=1033&sg=TS&pt=1&st=CHAT
Peter , you may receive a survey from McAfee in the next couple of days that will give you an opportunity to provide feedback on the support we’ve offered. This information will be used to further improve our support. Thank you for contacting the McAfee Technical Support.
Regards,
Arun Ajay
McAfee Technical Support
The one key takeaway I get from this is that McAfee thinks that by just automating your name at the start of three paragraphs, you will think it's a 'personal' response, rather than just something that a dick-fuck has taken from the "database of answers" under "Artemis" -- that being the keyword in my complaint.
The second takeaway from this message therefore is that, like most IT companies, McAfee thinks that all non-IT people are stupid morons because they don't understand geekspeak.
The third takeaway is that McAfee clearly don't actually read the emailed complaints.
So, I'm quite looking forward to the survey that McAfee send me. I also really hope that someone there gets to read this because they have Google Alerts working.
+++++++++++++++++++++
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
You're not the only one, Peter
Date: 2009-04-12 02:49 pm (UTC)Think you've summed it up better than anyone possibly could. Having to deal with so-called customer "support" for what ever the product is enough to make a grown man or woman cry. Logic goes out the window in the profit comes first equation.
Anyway, just to say, I really excited about your recent satellite result and am looking forward to hearing how you get on. Hope you have a lot of fun. Don't worry about not being able to play the long hours. If Doyle Brunson can do it at 70 plus what's stopping players who or 20 or 30 years younger?
Finally, I read recently that the BNP Paribas / Fortis merger has gone ahead, I seem to remember that last year you were poo-pooing the idea it would ever see the light of day. Would have like to have placed a gentleman's bet with you on that one!
On that point, would you consider opening a sportsbook on future pronouncements, I'm sure I'm not the only one who'd like to take you up on this.
All the best, and thanks for a fantastic blog.
PeadarOParis / PeaderOParis the schizophrenic paddy.
Re: You're not the only one, Peter
Date: 2009-04-12 03:52 pm (UTC)I never open books on stuff like that. Challinger was the worst for this at Superbowl finals. he would ask you for prices all night, declining to bet until you made a mistake. No value for the market maker there!
Thanks for the satellite comment. Jo Haslam has promised me that Stephen (whom I presume is blogging it for Gutshot?) will keep an eye out for me, because he knows that quite a few people in London at least have heard of me (plus the fact that it could become known as the "great 10FPP spin-up".
Worked out that 10FPP is about 8 cents. I entered four times, so that's 32 cents. Current spin-up is therefore 55,000 or so to 1.
Have received another email back from McAfee, one which at least addresses the problem and tells me how to get them to "trust" a program. Progress!
PJ
My name is Arun.
Date: 2009-04-12 04:15 pm (UTC)As a lead-in to a conversation, "My name is Arun" ranks right up there with "My name is Legion," and only slightly below "My name is Charlie Manson."
Walk away from that phone. Keep your hands in full view at all times ... unless you have suited connectors on the river when BB's range is something like an inside draw through a pair tens. We are compassionate enforcers. Big pot, small stack, we'll look the other way.
I sense your pain. I really do. I'm logged in right now to GooglePain, coming to a street near you. But this isn't pain, it's just creative whining: "'How could the QRNS interface with the DNS underflow otherwise?' but it doesn't seem to me that it HAS to be this way."
I believe the University of East Anglia teaches a course in this, for the spoiled peroxide kids of failed Merchant Bankers. But (and on the basis of very little customer input; which, btw, is something that Caring Professional Geeks hate) let's examine your little local difficulty.
Let's see.
"It [PacificHandGrabber] won't start unless the Idleminer web site is up and running." Indeed. There's a fairly good chance that your lungs won't start unless that heart thing is still beating. No geekiness here: just the mild possibility that the one relies upon the other.
What your description misses out here is what us geeks call a Requirements Specification.
In other words, I'm left to guess at what you want. In this case, presumably, the set of hand histories that you got the last time you brought the application up.
I'mm still guessing here, but I'm asssuming the fucking thing won't come up unless Daddy (Idleminder) says it's safe to go out after dark looking like a tramp.
This sort of design choice is obviously insane, but what do you expect from Americans? Just don't buy useless shit. Not a geek comment. Just a normal (albeit Brummie) observation.
You'll be so glad to know that this isn't a QRNS interface problem at all. (What the fuck is one of those? Goddamn, I'm gonna haveta update my Geek-U-Luv database again...)
OK. The basic idea behind a Web browser (and my pesonal view is that this has been screwed from Tim Berners-Lee onward) is that you get what you want, you talk to who you want, and you don't get what you don't want. Supposedly, the way this works is "The Sand-box."
Unfortunately, "The Sandbox" is not a good security model.
In the early days, it was fine. That server thing on the other end of a URL can't write to your disk; can't redirect messages through your 9.6K modem; that sort of thing.
It doesn't work any longer, however. I'm going to spare you the details of CAP, which was a Cambridge project built by the original CompSci founders (Michie et al), because they're not relevant here. They're the solution, yes, but nobody ever implemented them in a commercial product. That, in a nutshell, is Britain. What a fucking worthless country.
Anyhoo, the result of all that is that McAfee is doing a good job when it tells you that the redirect is "probably malware." It's doing a stinking awful job in your case, because you are one of ten million, and it can't be bothered to make individual distinctions. Too Expensive, my man. Also, not terribly Corporate.
However ...
Re: My name is Arun.
Date: 2009-04-12 04:16 pm (UTC)... I think I need to gargle some ether here ... ah, yes, the Bats! The Bats are my friends!
That wasn't very useful, was it? OK, healthy hints from Uncle Aardvark:
(1) If you're using Windows, make sure you set things up as Administrator, and give yourself simple user privileges (I'd suggest as "real_aardvark." It's always worked for me.
(2) Drop all antivirus software. Particularly Norton and McAfee. Given (1), you don't need the fucking things. If you really have to, go with Avast (free). But don't even go with that. It's all a vicious scam,, given a proper security setup.
(3) Stop whining about geeks. You have no idea what, or who, you are talking about.
There are lousy IT managers. These people are not geeks. They are merely politicians.
There are incompetent people on the end of phones. Like that's new.
There are people who have a Degree in Modern History from Magdalen, and a 25 Metre Breast-stroke (I.T.) Certificate from Kings. We people are your Imaginary Friend.
What ... you think we're real?
Dream on.
Re: You're not the only one, Peter
Date: 2009-04-12 05:03 pm (UTC)Re: My name is Arun.
Date: 2009-04-12 05:12 pm (UTC)I DO know about geeks. I work with them. Being a geek means never having to say you're sorry.
Pacific Handgrabber is a program that takes hands as you play them and parses them into a text file (or possibly an xml file). This enables your pokerstat software (pokertracker or HoldEm Manager) to take the file created by HandGrabber.exe and put it into its database (which I don't understand AT ALL) so that you get up-to-date stats on your own play and that of your opponents (as well, of course, as keeping an accurate record). How Handgrabber.exe works is a mystery as well. You have to launch Handgrabber.exe and launch the relevant poker client (in this case Pacific) from Handgrabbber, rather than launch it independently.
However, Handgrabber definitely needs to communicate with the IdleMiner server as well, and it's the need for that which puzzles me. I don't really care for an explanation WHY it's necessary (hence my facetious example); it's just that the fact that it IS necessary (or I presume it is) is a mite irritating.
I will try to explain the complexities of HoldEm Manager and postgres some time in the far distant future, when I understand it.
McAfee is not "doing a good job" because it doesnn;t tell me that Handgrabber is "probably malware". It decides that it IS Malware and removes it. Then it won't let me override. (Oh, I do run everytihg as an administrator btw, HoldEM Manager won't work otherwise)
And thanks for your advice on removing all antivirus software. That, at least, is vaguely radical. But, to be honest, I think that I DO need it. It certainly gets rid of a lot of stuff that I want it to rid me of.
PJ
Re: You're not the only one, Peter
Date: 2009-04-12 05:24 pm (UTC)PJ
Re: You're not the only one, Peter
Date: 2009-04-13 02:38 pm (UTC)I mean, quite clearly it wouldn't have happened if BT Internet used Paul Graham's Bayesian spam-filtering algorithm.
OK, it's a fair cop, guv. Just let me put my false nose back on and point me at the ducking stool.
Re: My name is Arun.
Date: 2009-04-13 02:51 pm (UTC)What, you think I have the time to read your anti-geek rants carefully? So I missed the word "quarantine." So sue me. (Admittedly I did notice the word "McAfee," which should have tipped me off. I've been down that path too.)
It's not really a radical (http://exodusdev.com/blog/mike/living-dangerously-no-anti-virus-or-firewall) proposition. It's probably an entirely unfeasible (http://www.holdemmanager.net/forum/showthread.php?t=5539) proposition in your case, but that's a different thing. (Go on, click on the second link. It makes McAfee support look positively inspired. Drink a cup of warfarin first, though.)
I don't really eat my own dogfood, because although I run everything as a simple XP Home user (always fun when you want to bring the calendar up by double-clicking at the bottom right), I'm paranoid enough to run Avast! at the same time. I'm working towards nirvana, though. I'm told that Windows Vista is better at playing nice in this sort of environment, but I'm not holding my breath. And I'm not forking out £150 for the privilege of holding my breath, either.
Re: My name is Arun.
Date: 2009-04-13 10:33 pm (UTC)Iain (of the Bowen ilk).
Re: You're not the only one, Peter
Date: 2009-04-14 07:09 pm (UTC)Not that I wish to beat a dead horse or anything, but I fell off the edge of the rant stool in my original reply. So, here are the top two reasons why the Idleminer site just has to be up when running the application (Letterman will provide the other eight). I'm sure you know both of them, btw:
(1) It, or part of it, is a Java applet. Java applets are a deranged idea and Contrary To The Will Of God. For sandbox reasons, as I tried to explain and failed even to myself, they can generally only do useful things by talking back to the Big Ole Server (or bag o'shit) in the Sky. That means, keep the web page open. Crap, isn't it?
However, Idleminer's (extremely ugly and badly designed) home page doesn't mention Java, so that's probably out.
(2) It relies for its licensing on a constant ET Phone Home system. Licensing is a bit of a nightmare for the paranoid, and, judging by their website, these guys are certainly paranoid about their licenses. I'm sure there are more acceptable solutions (and we're back to the MAC address again), but these guys are also, to judge by their website, seriously incompetent hacks.
So, (1) and you're screwed by the original design of Java. You can blame James Gosling for that, but not the rest of us.
Or (2), which is much more likely, and you're screwed by the Business People at Idleminer; not the "geeks," who are quite possibly pissed off by the whole thing.
Generally speaking, with Software, you are screwed by the Business People. (qv McAfee and Computer Associates. Not a fine choice, as I've learned to my own cost.)
Re: My name is Arun.
Date: 2009-04-14 09:14 pm (UTC)Now, should I spike my niblick before dealing with Vista, or is this just some pathetic shamrock thing we're talking about here? And does garlic work?
(I'll get back to you soon on the meal thing. Hope the family's fine. Life caving in at the moment.)
... What, you people out there still looking in? Have you no shame? Do you not understand the deep love that each and every Brummie has for his fellow Brummies, plus the morbid refusal to pick up a telephone?
You're all sick, I tell you. Sick.
And quite often denizens of the South East. I've always liked the word "denizens." It sounds suitably evil, without being remotely threatening.
Re: You're not the only one, Peter
Date: 2009-04-14 09:31 pm (UTC)PJ
Re: My name is Arun.
Date: 2009-04-14 10:35 pm (UTC)I am told Windows 7 is going to be "better", but as this came from the same loons who said "IE 8 is great", I'm taking it with a small Pacific nation worth of guano.
The Bowen of that Ilk.
Re: My name is Arun.
Date: 2009-04-16 01:38 pm (UTC)PJ
It's so great that you share this with us
Date: 2011-01-19 02:59 pm (UTC)try running the ripper folder thru FixVTS or VobBlanker before using shrink, to see if that fixes the problem, VobBlanker link is in my sig
27 May 2007 @ 9:28 "When I look at the smiles on all the childrens faces, I just know theyre about to jab me with something."- Homer Simpson
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