Hello Darling, I'm Home Again

[peterbirks]

Having a few moments to spare yesterday afternoon, I idly put together a super-spec machine on Dell's website. Including the new monitor (the same size as the Sony one I have), I could put a system together for just shy of £1,600. However, I wanted to be sure that it would support two monitors, so I telephoned Dell. Wow, what a nightmare that was.

After listening to the various options several times and taking one spectacularly false route (you can't get into technical help unless you have bought a machine either "in the last 90 days" or "more than 90 days ago") I ended up in sales.

"Hello, my name is Isaac", said the man with a rather Indian-sounding voice.

The first thing "Isaac" tried to do was to get my telephone number "in case we get disconnected". Well, I wasn't falling for that one.

Then he wanted to go through the model I wanted and the spex I wanted on the model. Despite a sequence of "I don't care about that"s from me, it took sheer brute force for me to finally get the answer I required, that both the nvidea Gforce graphics cards in the online ordering menu supported dual monitors.

At this point, Isaac went into sales overdrive.

"Ahh, but I have to tell you, that there is a problem at the moment online, and that any order might take 25 days to arrive, but we have the package here, and if you place the order now, we can guarantee delivery within seven days".

And, well, I couldn't resist it .. I flew. I repeated what he said and then said

"Isaac, I'm going to put you onto speakerphone because the rest of the office, particularly the sales department, is laughing so much, and I want them to hear you. First, I happen to know that the sales despatch department is in Limerick." (I didn't know this for sure, but if he wanted to play bluff and double-bluff, I was game). "Now, I don't know of many Isaacs in Limerick, certainly none with an Indian accent. And, how can you know that you have the package there, IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS I WANT TO BUY?"

And I hung up. This is how Dell generates so many sales. Some people might actually fall for the "give me your phone number in case we are disconnected" trick. Some people might fall for the "quicker delivery if you order now over the phone" trick". But, basically, these are absolute, downright, lies. Dell begins its relationship with the customer by lying, and by lying on several levels, right the way down, I suspect, to the Isaac.

So, I WAS going to buy something from Dell, but now I think I shall go elsewhere. Tell that to your sales executives, Michael.

+++++

I actually forced myself to stop playing some poker and catch up on some TV for a couple of hours last night. "Friends and Crocodiles" (Damien Lewis, Jodhri May) was a Poliakoff film that might have had its eye on international sales (London buses, Brideshead Revisited style luxury) but had at its heart a marvellous analysis of insiders vs outsiders, the conventional vs the thinkers. I thought it was great.

Comments

[jellymillion.livejournal.com]

Until you're big enough to tell Dell how they're going to work if they want the business (HSBC, Microsoft, someone like that) then I'd not bother.

My last 2 machines both came from Mesh, who were just about OK. I actually recommend them on that basis - "just about OK" is as good as I expect it to get. Evesham have been a close runner-up in both cases. I like the fact that, in extremis, I could go to their head office and shout at someone.

Also, if you're speccing, try looking at www.aria.co.uk - you'll probably have to dig around a bit but, especially for not-quite-state-of-the-art machines, they're pretty cheap. I haven't used them but I the guy who told me about them has. I'm considering using them for a bare-bones machine for the kids.

The last time I dealt with Dell (about 10 years ago) they actually were in Ireland and the guy I spoke to was indeed Irish. Times change.

[geoffchall.livejournal.com]

I'd vote for Evesham too. They re-equipped us (7 workstations, 1 server) nearly 3 years ago and although one has slightly strange behaviour sometimes, we live with it because it's mainly the spare machine on the system. Apart from that not a peep from the machines. Networking problems yes, but that's not down to them.

My Compaq laptop, the Packard Bell (PC World but it was cheap) and the two Dells at home have never been quite fully healthy which I blame on them but could have something to do with the girls habits.

[jellymillion.livejournal.com]

I was going to warn Pete to steer clear of PC World (and Packard Bell machines in particular) but thought he wouldn't need to be told. Mayhap I was wrong.

The other brand I have is a Toshiba Tablet PC (think laptop with a pen), which is absolutely tip-top, all the better because no-one else uses it; the Mesh desktop gets abuse from all the family and continues to hang on to life, although it desperately needs a rebuild.

Dell

[(Anonymous)]

I've been buying computers for myself and for my mother from Dell since about 1990, with no significant complaints. I won't say the computers are wonderful or the company is wonderful, but the computers seem to work and are often well rated in reviews. On the rare occasions when I've needed service, I've been able to get service, even in Sweden and Spain (the fact that the company operates internationally is a significant plus for me).

I appreciate that you were pissed off at your salesman, but I think what matters in buying a computer is the quality of the computer and the quality of the service if needed. The quality of the salesman is relevant for only a short time before purchase, and then only if you need to speak to him for some reason. It's probably quite feasible to buy from Dell just by ticking off things on the Web without speaking to anyone. Unless, of course, you have a question that the Web site doesn't answer...

With my current Dell computer, my main complaint is that the two USB sockets and the headphone socket at the front are inconveniently situated, pointing downwards and hidden behind a flap. Maybe that's intended to keep dirt out of them, but it means I have to put my head down at floor level in order to see what I'm doing when plugging into them (my system unit is on the floor).

My previous Dell computer, now almost six years old, is still being used by my wife and son. It has no sockets at the front, because that wasn't done in those days. To plug into that one, I have to go under the table and poke around at the back.

I suppose a system unit is better placed on the table if you have room for it (I haven't). It would be easier to access. Note: you should also have room on the table to open up the box from time to time, for cleaning and hardware upgrades.

-- Jonathan

Re: Dell

[787style.livejournal.com]

By HP and gooooooo AMD!!!!

Re: Dell

[peterbirks.livejournal.com]

Actually, most of this was a point about sales (how sales staff can negatively affect your profits through high-pressure techniques) than computers. If you can convince companies that using techniques such as this can harm their bottom line as well as help it, then you might get less pressurization. In my company, for example, I worry that our high-volume marketing might have negative effects that we cannot measure running alongside any positive effects (i.e., responses to forced free trials that lead to subscriptions) that we can measure. It's a bit like the old "dark matter" theory. There's a bundle of stuff out there that we can't measure, so let's assume that it doesn't exist (or, in the case of dark matter, that it does exist, which perhaps means that the comparison is not as good as I initially thought).

I have a Dell at work and at home (I am typing this on my home machine) as well as an old HP and a Compaq/HP laptop. None is perfect; all are satisfactory. The major flaw with Dell is that getting at the insides is difficult (encouraging you to use expensive Dell personnel). Obviously I am aware that the quality of the salesman had little to no relevance to the quality of the computer. But I think that if the consumer takes a stand and says "yes, I know that your computers are good value, but your sales techniques piss me off so much that I would rather pay more elsewhere", then you might get improved sales staff. There is no need for me to actually tell the truth in my original post. They just have to think that I am.

And most people seemed to miss the opening sentence. I was only "idly" putting together a spec. It wasn't a "I am going to buy a computer tomorrow" matter.

PJ