Against my will I walk these shores

[peterbirks]

To the Great Eastern Hotel, Liverpool Street, yesterday afternoon for a Standard & Poor's meeting on corporate securitizations. I didn't really need to go or have to go, but it's all part of my "make an effort to meet new people" campaign. Result. Boring seminar attended - one. People met and spoken to - zero. I'm sure it isn't quite meant to be like this.

The problem is that I can't summon up the courage to go up to people and introduce myself. This, as I am sure you will be aware, is a bit of a problem for a journalist. But I'm not a real journalist (or so I keep telling myself). I'm more of an editor and a writer. And I can go up to people to introduce myself, if I have to. But, if it's an option, then I don't.

A pity, because there was a nice-looking woman (and, of course startlingly bright) talking on Sovereign securitizations. Of course, I know that most people might not find a wopman who can talk at length about the securitization of Gazprom's future earnings as a come on, but, hey, that's me. And could I summon up the courage to introduce myself? Nope. So, Krystal Richard, if you are reading this and are available, can I take you out to lunch?

Didn't learn a great deal from the seminar, either. Rating agencies are funny beasts, a bit like Excel spreadsheets that tell you what bankroll you need. They perpetually move the goalposts, and they always move them too late for you to do anything about it. And they are the greatest experts at covering their arses, along the lines of "just because we have assigned a single B minus rating to this debt, that should not be interpreted as us saying that we do not think it will be fully serviced". Yeah, right.

Well, I guess that's utterly busted my chances of ever going out with anyone from Standard & Poor's. It was good while it lasted.

But the Great Eastern Hotel does have excellent toilets. Perhaps I should do a "Good loo Guide" for hotels? It's always amazed me that US hotels have such crap bathrooms (as a rule) and even crappier baths. Either it's a swimming pool or it's a tub. I assume this is a result of Americans tending to prefer showers.

++++

And, brilliantly segueing to today's matters, I'm at home today, and the plumber should be coming round in, oooh, a couple of hours. I await with keen anticipation the sharp intake of breath as he looks at the bathroom floor and utters the magic words "It's gonna cost ya".

Comments

[pb9617.livejournal.com]

The problem is that I can't summon up the courage to go up to people and introduce myself.

Just do it.

The two worst things that can happen are either someone giving you a strange look or someone laughing at you. If the worst that happens in your day is someone laughs at you, you're WAY ahead of most people.

The positive outcomes vary from a nice chat to marriage and many places in between. The positives far outweigh the negatives here.

[peterbirks.livejournal.com]

Yes, well, I know this, but I'm afraid that it's a bit like telling a stutterer that he would stutter less if he relaxed.

Positive EV? Definitely.

Can I do something about it? I try, I try.

Meanwhile, on more cheerful matters, the boiler is serviced and the bathroom is, apparently, fixed, and the plumber's mate didn't have to pull up the floor to do it -- just take off the side of the bath. However, I still can't figure out how what he said was wrong with the plumbing (the run-off from the bath) was causing the leak downstairs. It just doesn't make temporal sense, if you see what I mean (i.e., the downstairs was leaking at the wrong time....)

Still, if it stops, I'm not complaining. And the plumber asked for so little that I was desperately trying to throw extra money at him. £75? For two people? For an hour? This was ridiculous. I gave him eighty in cash and told him not to worry about a receipt.

And I still felt guilty about it.

So, all in all, not the worst of days. As PB might say, since absolutely nothing went wrong, and one thing went right, I'm way ahead of most people. Perhaps I should practise not leaving the house more often.

That was a joke. God, my timing is out today.

PJ

The Hawkeye method

[(Anonymous)]

I vaguely remember reading many years ago of an approach to women favoured by Hawkeye Pierce of "MASH" fame: simply go up to a woman cold and proposition her. She might say no; she might even be offended; but in either case you waste a minimum of time and can go on to the next one.

I must admit I've never tried it. Perhaps it works better when there's a war going on outside.

-- Jonathan