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I made one of my more dutiful trips into Lewisham Shopping Centre yesterday. "Dutiful" shopping basically entails anything that does not involve visiting a bookshop. You see student gang members practising their swaggering gait and the wearing of low-slung trousers (hint, they use a concealed bit of string at the front to keep them from falling down -- surreptitious use of a small-but-sharp pair of scissors could reduce gangland swagger to embarrassed trouser-holding within minutes). You see airhead girls looking for some kind of fashion that they can afford that lets them pretend that they are like their talentless airhead heroes on The Only Way Is Essex. And, of course, you see the elderly mobility scooter racers who seem to think that seven miles an hour is a minimum speed on a crowded pavement. The person who described going shopping as "fun" was clearly mentally ill.

This particular journey required me to make one of the worst parts of dutiful shopping -- a visit to the Post Office. Of course, Lewisham doesn't have a Post Office any more. The Post Office was packed and WH Smith was empty, so they merged the two. I don't think that I've been to the Post Office for three years, but my recollections of the last time I went were not pleasant. This time round I had to go because my driving licence needed renewing and the Post Office offering seemed likely to be the most error-proof. I reckoned that 3pm on a Friday might be a good metagame time to go there. The pension collectors arrive early in the morning and the business users (or amateurs trying to make a living on eBay) would probably have got everything done.

That, at least, turned out to be the right decision. And the staff were rather efficient, TBH, as well as courteous. Clearly the Post Office has been implementing some customer-service training in the past few years. Or maybe male African counterhands just tend to be more helpful. Who knows.

Another required purchase was a pair of trousers. I wore three different pairs of trousers to work this week and decided that all three of them had to go - for reasons of comfort (lack thereof) or style (lack thereof). Part of the problem is that my stomach is, er, somewhat flatter than it was a few months ago (although, to my concern, it still looks horrifically pot-bellied to me). This means that, although 34-inch trousers still fit me -- albeit somewhat looser than they did -- the waistband tends to sit considerably higher on my body. That results in trouser bottoms that look like they have had a row with my shoes and have opted for a trial separation. My 32-inch waist trousers (of which I have a couple of pairs) are still a little tight for everyday wear, so I decided that a trek to buy a couple of 34x32 pairs (I used to buy 34x30) was necessary.

Well, I only managed one pair, and that was in BHS. My shopping willpower for clothes then vanished. And BHS no longer does trouser lengths -- just short, regular, and long. I half-measured some 34S (the only pair the shop had available -- another store heading for the knacker's yard, I suspect) against my legs, and bought them on spec. Haven't tried them on yet, though.

On the way back I noticed a Holland & Barrett in the shopping centre. I had it in my head that the nearest H&B was in Blackheath. There were a couple of things that I wanted to pick up, so I popped in.

H&B have a bit of a hold on certain products -- no-one else sells them in shopping centres or supermarkets. Whey Protein and Amino Acid muscle-builder tablets are two of them. They also do a nice line in muesli constituents at a reasonable price (well, cheaper than Tesco).

When I write "cheaper than Tesco" I am, actually, guessing. This is because one of the most annoying things about H&B is that it's impossible to work out how much you are going to pay for something. The company -- and this is far and away the most irritating thing about Holland & Barrett -- uses its pricing power not to ostensibly rip you off, but to try to fool you into thinking that you are getting a bargain.

So, I picked up some pumpkin seeds (reasonably, but not generously, priced at £6.50) and sunflower seeds (similarly at £5.09). However, if I bought one thing I got the second at half price. So that meant I paid £9.05 for the pair. How much did I pay for each? Well, to calculate that is beyond my mental calculation abilities. Indeed, even now I'd have to fire up the spreadsheet to get the ratios calculated (650/1159 = ?/905) and (509/1159 = ?/905).

But that was as nothing to the purchase of the whey protein (list "anchor" price way too high at £34.99) and amino acid tablets (list price way too high at £13.50). For, not only did I get the "buy one and get the second at half price" offer, but if I bought the magazine "Healthy For Men" for 99p, then I got £4 off the amino acid tablets and 50% off the whey protein. And, on top of that, I got the "buy one get the seond one at half price" as well. With me so far? I can't see how, because I wasn't with me, and neither was the cashier.

So, in theory, how much did I save? There was a list price on all four items of a staggering £60, give or take a few pence, and my bill was £30.30. I guess I was meant to be dancing out of there thinking that I'd "saved" £30. But in fact I'd saved fuck-all. What I had in my bag was probably worth £30, give or take a couple of quid. But I had very little idea how much each individual item had cost me. For Holland & Barrett, that is the secret. How do you measure inflation when it's impossible to tell how much something really cost you, even after you bought it? H&B could remove some of these giant discounts, cut its prices by 5%, and yet have a higher profit margin. Is that inflation or deflation? You decide.

+++++++++++++++

Mr Nye said yesterday or the day before that he was feeling somewhat "Pooterish". I was also feeling something of a lack. I do not lack friends, although I think that it might be an idea if I mixed more with my own kind than with younger people. I suffer from two distinct disadvantages here. (1) I am in my mid-fifties, so that the younger people crowd in London, although (I hope!) they find my company acceptable, and not too old-bloke curmudgeonly, they still don't really know what to do with me. As such, I am inevitably excluded from many things that they do, not through unkindness, but probably because of a "oh, it wouldn't suit him" attitude. (2) I am single, not part of a couple. This also makes people uncomfortable - a single bloke is bad enough at many of these things if he is in his thirties, but a single bloke in his fifties, even if you get along with him, is a bit too close to bringing your dad along. And, finally (3) I don't drink -- a factor that still makes many in their thirties (most of whom are still drinking) both uncomfortable and slightly guilt-ridden. I am, as it were, one of the casualties, albeit walking wounded, of what "hard drinking" can do to you. If you are in your mid-thirties and are still drinking as if you were in your mid-twenties, this is not a recipe for a comfortable social occasion whern I am in attendance - the ghost at Banquo's feast, indeed. (Oddly, I get on better with those in their 20s, perhaps because there is less of a discomfort zone for them. With people in their thirties I'm too young to be of their parents' generation, but too old to be "a mate". For people in their 20s, I AM in their parents' generation, and I can be treated accordingly).

So, well, fuck it. I think that I might actually take up something else this autumn -- the piano is a great joy and solace for me, but it's very isolationist. One thing that I have learnt from my current exercise regime is that my balance needs work (or, for the cognoscenti among you, my 'core' muscle groups). Although pilates yoga is an obvious candidate here, I fear that I would be a square peg in a round hole, and I don't fancy the idea of being the only fifty-something bloke in a class of late-twenties women petrified that the next generation of girls is coming along just a little bit too quickly, and that their stomach just doesn't seem as flat as it used to be.

However, dance has an appeal. Not line-dancing, obv. And not traditional tea-dance ballroom -- it just wouldn't be for me. I'd actually like to learn 'proper' dance, but I may be too old for that, and I should begin to realize my limitations. Salsa is the current 'amateur' fad (although 'tap' is another option) and I wouldn't mind giving that a go. I'd just hope that there aren't too many 20-something or 30-something people there, and that there will be a few more people my age.

I can imagine those of you who have managed to get this far (for which, since this is an excessively narcissistic post, I congratulate you) wondering "what on earth is he worried about? What could be better than being a bloke in a class of beautiful late-20-year-olds?" But, well, I'm getting a bit fed up with being the odd one out, TBH.

It's a bit sad how over the years I have lost touch with so many people of my generation. Part of this is my penance, I guess. But from the early days of the Diplomacy hobby, there's only Craig, Geoff C, Ron and Greg left. Of the "second generation" there are a few more - Brian, John Dodds, John Harrington, Mikey, Paul, Pete Berlin, Brian Dolton, Bryan Betts. But many of these have virtually become Christmas card acquaintances or "Facebook friends". With the death of Richard in 2003 the social circle virtually ended, and some friendships that I really valued have vanished in the wind. Perhaps that's the way it is for all people, but I do seem to have lost contact with a large number of people over the years (although thankfully the wonders of Facebook and Linked In have helped me reestablish some friendships). I know virtually no-one from my undergraduate days and very few from my post-grad days (well, just Rich Moore and Colin, basically). I'm losing touch with ex-girlfriends like it's going out of fashion. Once they find new relationships, things obviously get difficult. I used to think that it was my drinking that caused this, and perhaps it was. But sobriety doesn't seem to have made much difference. People still fade away. I guess that I'm not that good at this wide circle of friends thing. Certainly I'm fairly good at not getting invited back. So, value those who value you (no matter how old they are), is my motto from now on. Friendship for networking sake, do not apply.

+++++++++

On the weight-training side, I was most disappointed at the impact of just taking a week off my exercise and diet regime when I was in Bermuda. Only now (three weeks later) am I back to roughly where I was before leaving, although perhaps my strength has gone up a fraction. I just can't afford to give up whole months like that. And so, in my typically obsessive manner, I'm looking to get better faster. If this means a stricter focus on diet and training, then so be it.

I'm definitely getting stronger in the upper and lower body, although the speed of improvement is frustratingly slow. I'm coming to grips with the effect of certain training strategies. Pushing for a personal best in any strength- (rather than stamina-) related exercise seems to have a "zapping" effect on the body. I had a decent sleep last night. Got up. Played 90 minutes on Stars. Went to gym after the requisite carbohydrate intake, and did a tough session that included a personal best lat pulldown (a rep of 5 pulldowns at 65kg). Promptly came home, read my free FT (one of the benefits of going to the gym on Saturday!) and then had to go back to bed at 11am. Slept for two and a half hours. Wow. Other tough sessions (no personal bests, but an hour of focus on one particular muscle group) don't have that immediate effect, but creep up on you. Within 24 hours those muscles ache like shit, and it takes 72 hours to recover fully.

PS, managed a personal best of 17:21 for 4k on rowing machine on Wednesday, (equates to 2:10.2 per 500m) and this was solely down to improved upper body strength. My "pull-through" was faster and I maintained about 22 strokes per minute throughout. So, I know that I AM improving (the numbers on everything say so, except the scales!), but some days it just doesn't feel like it.

+++++++++++

Poker has been going okay for a few weeks now. The disastrous start to the month (six buy-ins down within a few hours!) was pulled back to 1.5 buy-ins down at the end of day one, and a quick move into profit since then. I'm now well into the black in open play at $50 buy-in on Stars, but I have a 20 buy-in deficit still to make up on Party. There's some modest bonuses doing the rounds in the wake of the Full Tilt fiasco (plus some total bollocks from some of the incompetent players -- Victor Chandler and Paradise spring to mind). That helps the bottom line, but the important thing is to get into the black in open play. That, basically, is the baseline. If you aren't winning in open play, either you should be playing at a lower level, or playing fewer tables, or you shouldn't be playing at all. I've both dropped a level AND cut down on the number of open tables. This definitely gives me more time to think and to make table-specific plays. Since the margin is so thin (a single standard deviation per hour is about 25 times as large as your target open-play profit, is my rough calculation) just one or two 'better' decisions per hour (out of some 600 decisions per hour) can make the difference between expected profit and expected loss. The additional money 'gained back' through Stars' and Party's cunning rakeback structure, which favours significant multi-tabling and playing for long hours, does not compensate for the margin that you give up in open play.

So, for now, my target is very modest; to get into open-play profit at $50, then to reduce the open-play deficit at $100 by a significant amount by the end of the year. My current regime of eight-tabling Stars and six-tabling Party is 'comfortable', although I have to be careful that no more than one or two of the tables on Party (two or three of the tables on Stars) are "speed" tables. If I manage that, the bottom line should take care of itself by the end of the year and I should be back into a (very) modest profit for the whole year. We shall see.

______________

People: People Who Love Pomegranate Seeds

Date: 2011-07-09 04:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] real-aardvark.livejournal.com
I notice I'm not on that second-gen list, btw. Probably for the good, since we seem to have a Facebook relationship without (thankfully) the Facebook.

Have you seen the number of seeds in yer average pumpkin? £6.50 is a definite rip-off. If I still shared the place back in France, I could probably make the same quantitative judgement on sunflower seeds. H&B is an excellent place to window-shop, in a sort of post-modern way: "What??? People pay good money for this? Oh well, I'm off to Waitrose."

Being single at our(ish) age is definitely a barrier to making friends, but you've missed out one of your major disadvantages. You are fucking frightening*. You used to be fucking frightening (Colin G was a sweetie in comparison) back in full-throttle alcoholic days, but one doesn't tend to lose the habits of a lifetime. You are still fucking frightening. God knows what your persona does to impressionable young (mid-forties, divorced, slightly smudged around the edges) women, but it fucking frightens me.

Unless I try really hard, I seem to do this to other people as well. I've just come back from my local, where I had a conversation about the mottoes around the edge of the pound coin. People generally just don't want to hear about this and many other subjects, and they are particularly put-off by my (and I suspect your) natural combination of ebullience and a background PhD in morose.

Dunno what the answer is, guv. It's certainly not becoming a Grumpy Old Man. Maybe a Kindly Old Uncle?

As for dancing, I have thought of that. We have a certain height disparity, which means that my preferred version of Ballroom might not fit you ... perhaps Limbo Dancing, hee hee hee ... but I'm pretty sure it works as a relaxing social lubricant.

Have you tried tango? (Latinas are also quite short.)

Have you tried tai chi?

No, seriously. Think about that last one.

Re: People: People Who Love Pomegranate Seeds

Date: 2011-07-09 04:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] real-aardvark.livejournal.com
Sorry. The asterisk was meant to attach to an explanation.

You're a lot calmer now that you're sober, but you've still got that background personality of a maniac drunk. It's visible. It doesn't worry me, but it's there.

You are emphatically not frightening in terms of potential violence. Well, it's just a potential.

I'm damn sure that 99% of the people you meet find you intellectually frightening, however, which I think was my main point. It's pretty difficult to hide that sort of thing. In my case I've worked out a 50-year-old's version of the Class Clown, which is to describe some recent improvement (for example) as "sublime." This is apparently hilarious to work-mates who never use the word. At that point you bow and scrape and grin sideways and ... Good Lord, everyday life amongst everyday people is bloody tough.

Fucking frightening in a good and very necessary and even rather pleasant and convivial way, however.

Re: People: People Who Love Pomegranate Seeds

Date: 2011-07-09 04:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] peterbirks.livejournal.com
I probably shouldn't have listed names: I was bound to leave off people who should have been included. But look how few of them are "sustained" friendships over the years, and how many are "reignited" through the glory that is the interweb.

Yes, I probably am a bit frightening. But I'm getting better at covering it up in many social circles. Unfortunately, this does not make me "relaxed". And it's nice to be "relaxed" at social occasions. Just not many people I can do it with.

The tango kind of follows on from salsa. It had occurred to me.

Tai Chi is a definite goer. It's not far from pilates, actually, in the way it exercises the core muscles. There are courses not far away from work as well.

PJ


Re: People: People Who Love Pomegranate Seeds

Date: 2011-07-09 04:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] real-aardvark.livejournal.com
"A bit?" Come clean. Do not pussy around. You are fucking frightening. It's part of what make you who you are, and it's not worth lopping off. If people cannot cope with it on first impressions, then they are certainly going to be hit with it down the road.

My general feeling is that this leaves you with the sort of friends you'd always wanted in the first place, rather than just a bunch of tossers.

But then again, that is just my personal feeling.

An uncanny parallel

Date: 2011-07-09 06:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ceemage.livejournal.com
Maybe we could put Holland and Barrett in charge of resolving the Greek debt crisis? They can persuade the banks that the debt is worth list price £60bn, but only charge the Greeks £30bn. Which has, to be fair, pretty much the ECB strategy all along.

Date: 2011-07-10 10:53 am (UTC)
ext_44: (games)
From: [identity profile] jiggery-pokery.livejournal.com
FWIW, I regard you and your dedication (to your writing, to your poker, to your weight-training, and - for a heroic length of time - to your zine) as pretty awesome, not least in the old-fashioned sense of awe-inspiring. I would comment rather more frequently in response to your posts if I weren't so scared of looking foolish in comparison (in another browser, I've still got your post from months or a year ago about how portfolios of shares of different creditworthinesses can still come out with AAA ratings, and I nearly understood it, once or twice) and I suspect I'm not alone. This is also my weak excuse for not having written you nearly enough Ls o C for your lettercol all those years ago.

I am tempted to wonder whether board games appeal as a potential hobby to you these days? They may be a little redundant in that you get your score-kept game fix from your poker, and I think I played Das HollandundBarrettspiel once or twice at Manorcon about ten years ago. Not one of Dr. Knizia's most appealing set-collecting games, but there's definitely enough to it or people wouldn't keep coming back for more.

Alternatively, would conversational French sessions appeal? You always seem so much more content when you post from le Midi that perhaps enmeshing yourself in the closest you might get to the experience, within convenient distance of your home, might bring back pleasant memories and thought patterns.

Date: 2011-07-10 12:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] peterbirks.livejournal.com
Very kind of you to say so, Chris, but I must display some genuine (albeit rare) self-effacement here. I do the blog because I want to write about stuff that interests me and which, with luck, will find an audience. I could probably hawk it around and get paid a bit for doing something like it elsewhere, but that would impose things like deadlines, size constraints and, worse, content constraints. So I do it here for nothing, because thatis what suits me.

Board games don't really interest me much now, I'm afraid. For various reasons. I like Geoff Challinger's attitude to it, but not the games that either require me to think hard or get shafted (and, preferably, to have some experience of playing games once a week just to keep my eye in). I spend most of the week thinking hard. Games playing doesn't need to be the same. I suspect that most people who play board games a lot tend to have jobs that don't stretch their brains. Games provide an outlet for their intelligence. I'd quite like a hobby that provides no need for such concentration.

I don't think that conversational french would do much for me, although I see your point. It would just make me want to be in France more each week than I want to be there at the moment!

PJ

Date: 2011-07-10 03:05 pm (UTC)
ext_44: (puzzle)
From: [identity profile] jiggery-pokery.livejournal.com
I suspect that most people who play board games a lot tend to have jobs that don't stretch their brains.

Mmm... interesting. I've asked a load of puzzle fans I know the counterpart question, to see if the link is even stronger there.

Date: 2011-07-12 09:59 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
I also recommend t'ai chi; in my experience it has similar benefits to yoga and the classes usually have a fairly even gender split (well, they do where I live). However, I would suggest finding a class near home, not near work, because if you go to classes you might want to do practice sessions in addition to the weekly class. If so, there will be others in the same position; if no-one runs informal practice sessions already, then start one once you've learnt enough of your particular form and invite all the other students along.

Otherwise, I know you can cook, so what about something in that area? And what about rowing in an actual boat, with other people?

Cheers,
Niall L

Date: 2011-07-12 12:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] peterbirks.livejournal.com
Hi Niall: All sound bits of advice. Indeed I looked at a singles holiday in Nice, lasing two weeks, that consisted of both focused language-teahing AND a cookery course. An added option was living in a French residence for the two weeks (at fairly modest rates) to make the "immersive" experience evern more, er, immersed.

Not sure if there are Tai Chi classes in SE13, but I could have a look. Allocating more than, say, three hours a week to it would be a bit of a problem in my current set-up. I suppose I could dump all TV programmes!

PJ

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