The Law Of Large Holes

The law of large holes is, bascially, that when you find yourself in one, it might be a good idea to stop digging.

This radical concept has clearly not occurred to Capita, which runs London's Congestion Charge scheme. A "disgruntled" employee secretly filmed the inner workings of this company, revealing it to be bureaucractic, inflexible and generally inhabited by the kind of jobsworth that you see in administrative operations the world over. Clearly Capita gains most of its recruits from the Ministry of Defence or DEFRA.

And what is Capita's response to this? Contrition? An apology? Ahh, clearly you are not au fait with the workings of the petty bureaucratic mind. First Capita says that it may take legal action against Channel Four for filming the project which, they claimed, failed to point out that "Capital staff were seen applying Transport for London's rules consistently in their dealings with the public". Nothing about whether these rules were "right"; nothing about "common sense". All that was important was that Capita was following someone else's guidelines and that it was applying these guidelines "consistently". This is rather reminiscent of the logistics officer in Schindler's List who cares only whether someone is or is not on the list, not whether they should be on the list in the first place.

So, this "consistency" included taking to court someone who accidentally keyed in a slightly wrong number plate, and putting the bailiffs onto a woman who had sold the car for which she was being fined before the consistency charge was introduced.

But Capita's second response is even better than the first. "This is not a customer services friendly service. It is all about reducing congestion, and this is how our client (TFL) wanted it to be run".

So, back to the "we were only following orders" line, I see. But it really is a pretty good one. Yes, we are shit at the way we handle the people we fine. That's because they are not customers, but criminals. Except, of course, that a lot of them aren't, and they don't see it that way. They pay a set amount for a good (the right to drive in central London for a day), and they expect the provider of that right to provide a good service. Capita's response? "This is not a customer services friendly service".

Stop digging, boys. Stop digging.

A $3-$6 hand for you limit fans.

I really oughtn't to give away secrets like this -- they are worth many many dollars over the course of a year.

Here's a limit hand, and a good example of a profit-maximizing strategy at $3-$6 hold 'em when all of the other players know what they are doing. And I learnt this when someone did it to me once. It's paid off handsomely since. Curiously, you are unlikely to see this at $2-$4.

($3/$6 Hold'em) Powered by UltimateBet

redpoint is at seat 0 with $248.50.
Neverlo0se is at seat 1 with $312.50.
BellyBoyBoy is at seat 2 with $106.50.
SkoolyRat is at seat 3 with $236.75.
Birks is at seat 4 with $323.50.
hello kitty is at seat 5 with $115.50.
TwinP is at seat 6 with $185.
GrooveNougat is at seat 7 with $191.
dollarbill77 is at seat 8 with $232.
BeanBag82 is at seat 9 with $37.50.
The button is at seat 6.

GrooveNougat posts the small blind of $1.
dollarbill77 posts the big blind of $3.

Birks: Ad As


Pre-flop:

BeanBag82 folds. redpoint calls. Neverlo0se folds. BellyBoyBoy folds. SkoolyRat folds. Birks raises to $6. hello kitty folds. TwinP folds. GrooveNougat folds. dollarbill77 folds. redpoint calls.

redpoint is a competent, reasonably aggressive player. His limp under the gun might be a suited connector, a pair up to 7s, Ax suited. He is capable of clever limps under the gun, but since I have AA, I don't care.

Flop 3s 5c 9d
redpoint bets $3. Birks calls.
Turn 3s 5c 9d Qh
redpoint bets $6. Birks calls
River 3s 5c 9d Qh Qs
redpoint bets $6. Birks calls.

I had been planning to raise the river, but that Queen is dangerous.

Showdown:

redpoint shows 3c Ac.
redpoint has two pair, queens and threes.
Birks shows Ad As.
Birks has two pair, aces and queens.
$2 is raked from a pot of $46. Birks wins $44.

This is a fine example of Big Dave D's "go limp" theory. Its strength is that in the oh-so-aggressive tight $3-$6 games, where you are usually heads up fairly quickly, the player who is first to bet is going to carry on betting (often with zilch) until he experiences some "heat", at which point he will run away. So the answer is to not provide that "heat". And when you look at this hand, redpoint is drawing to two outs (his threes). Why should I raise him on the turn? If I flat-call the turn, he may put me on AK and bet again on the river (as proved to be the case). If I raise him on the turn, I get rid of a player who is drawing virtually dead.

More fun with modems

OK, so I took the new computer out of its box and reorganized the office so that it would fit in. Something had to go, and it was the amplifiers and speakers connected to the TV/DVD/video. I never used them any more, now that I have a stereo system.

Then I moved the office desk, disconnected everything, cleaned the whole lot of dust, and put it all back together.

Result, three computers and four monitors on the desk. Good.

Sockets in use: 16. And, no, I can't be bothered to work out what the 16 electrical items are.

So, now it was time to try to install the DSL modem/router. This Belkin had been reviewed as "simplicity itself" to install. So, I not only got the Quick start sheet, but I also fired up the PDF "User Manual". I followed the instructions TO THE LETTER. Result, success. Well, so I thought. I was online, I could get to various web sites. Life was good.

And then I tried to connect to the office via the VPN (virtual private network?). The right screen came up. I filled in my password, and waited. And waited. Eventually, I was told that the connection had failed. So it goes. I knoew that a connection would only work if all the latest Windows and anti-virus updates were in place, so I decided to reboot the machine after installing any required updates.

After rebooting, I couldn't get online AT ALL. I mean, all the right lights were on on the Belkin. Clearly the modem thought that I was online. But the Dell did not. And I couldn't even get anywhere with the 192.168.2.1 entry. Nothing, nothing at all. And what of the "troubleshooting" section in the User manual? Not a whisper of this problem, and, therefore, no solution provided. I haven't got the faintest idea what to do.

So at the moment the machine sits there staring at me mournfully. I'm not even disheartened, to be honest, because I had never expected things to work in the first place. OK, it's a bit of a bummer for it to lead you into a false sense of security by getting you online once, just once, but then refusing to connect the next time you turn on the machine. But, I can live with it. Eventually an IT person will come in, get it working, utter something utterly incomprehensible along the lines of "ahh yes, your DHCP wasn't formatted to pick a floating ISP address in the LAN connection interface. Obvious, really", and I shall just shrug my shoulders and say, "this is what I expect an IT person to say. Does it work now?" And he will say "yes" and go away. And then the next problem will start, which will be to get the laptop and the desktop to be online at the same time as the Dell.

Cunningly, I have kept the old modem system (which I understand, what with its "Speed Touch Dial-Up") on the old desktop. If I hadn't, I wouldn't be able to get online at all. I guess this is one of the reasons that I am not disheartened. I SAW IT ALL COMING.

But I did go into Maplins and buy an "Easy Network PCI Card" (yes, that is its name. "Easy". HAH!) so that I can put an Ethernet 10/100 (whatever those two numbers mean... is it like blood pressure?) RJS-45 (here we go again) connector between the old Desktop and the office desktop. I also have a wireless netowrk USB adaptor that theoretically flies at 54mbps, which I hope to use for the laptop. Will it ever all be functioning? Well, when the IT person arrives, I shall *try* to get all three done at once. But I know that it won't happen. Our IT people want to do the bare minimum before walking out of the door. This will be no exception.