Sideways

[peterbirks]

A trip to the Tate Modern yesterday, where I decided to buy a small Rothko. Unfortunately, it's the wrong shape for the wall where I plan to hang it, so I shall turn it sideways. I doubt that he would have minded.

Also, a very nice contemporary piece by an artist whose name I forget, but which was entirely the wrong colour for my wallpaper. I intend to e-mail her and ask her whether she would consider repainting it with a yellow theme, rather than red.


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Here's an interesting experiment you can play at home. Take quotes from US candidate's campaign speeches. Mix 'em up, and see if you can ascribe a single quote to a single speaker.

Let's try these:

"Reclaiming the American Dream"

"Are we going to go backwards or go forwards"

"I have the ability to bring the people together"

"Together we're going to take back America because I see an America where our economy works for everyone, not just those at the top, where prosperity is shared and we create good jobs that stay right here in America."


"I see an America where when a young man or woman signs up to serve our country, we sign up to serve them too."


"I see an America respected around the world again, that reaches out to our allies and confronts our shared challenges -- from global terrorism to global warming to global epidemics. "

"That's the America I see -- that's the America we will build together."


Well, the first half is Obama, the second half, Clinton. But the point is that the rhetoric in the same. What does "are we going to go backwards or forwards?" mean as a question. I'm sorry, I hadn't heard any candidate say "backwards is the way forward".


Interestingly, at least the republicans appear to be sticking to issues rather than rhetoric, even if you disagree with them. You can't imagine Obama or Clinton saying the following:

"A couple of days before I arrived in Baghdad, a suicide car bomb destroyed a large, busy marketplace. It was a bit unusual, because new U.S. and Iraqi security measures in Baghdad have reduced the number of car bomb attacks. But this time the terrorists had a new tactic: they drove their car to a security checkpoint and were waved through because there were two small children in the back seat. The terrorists then walked away from the car, leaving the children inside it, and triggered the explosion."

If anyone but McCain had said that, I might have doubted it. I might disagree with some of the stuff he says. But, hell, at least he doesn't reside in platitudes and an attitude of "I'll say anything that sounds good, so long as I don't have to commit myself".

Huckabee, too, may be just this side of commitable (in the other sense of the word", but, hell, at least he doesn't try to keep it a secret.


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Decorators should start today...

Comments

[jaybee66.livejournal.com]

McCain's the man. Tough times ahead.

Anyway is up

[(Anonymous)]

Could the comment on the orientation of the Rothko being irrelevent and the closing mention of the decoraters arriving a subconcious worry that the planned grand design might go tits up? And I s'pose if it did would anyone notice
Keith S

[real-aardvark.livejournal.com]

If you're an Italian tank driver, backwards is indeed the new way forwards. At least in four cases out of five.

I'm sure Rothko, the London-based instrumental ambient band (it says here, although other than Gregorian chant I can't bring myself to contemplate the concept of vocal ambience) won't mind. The main reason that Mark won't mind is that he's dead. The old boy seemed to like horizontals rather than verticals, for some reason. (Probably to do with the fact that, unlike half of Picasso's models, he was born with the fortunate propensity of having both eyes on the same side of his nose.)

Jeez, you must be making more money out of this on-line poker scam than I thought. I mean, how much is even a small Rothko, badly hung, worth these days? Even if it's a more obscure one, like "Elvis as a small dog, in acrylic, on black velvet," it's got to be worth enough to pay for a gang of Polish interior decorators for downstairs. Are you sure you have your priorities sorted out?

You should broaden your cultural horizons. I can see it now. Titian's "Madonna and Child, In Repose." Canaletto's "The Doge's Palace, Sinking Sideways Into The Adriatic Because Of Global Warming." Or you could go the whole 180-degree hog: Turner's "Storm Under The Sea," or Picasso's "Guernica Victorious: Spitting Bombs Back At The Bastards."

I guarantee you that there is money, and possibly powerful drugs, in this. Some silly Russian bitch in a mink coat will splurge a fortune in Gazprom options, given the right settings. I'm thinking of a bijou little gallery in South Ken, or possibly even North-East Livingstone, although you seem to know a lot about property opportunities in Wardour Street. We need to take this one to the mat. Or possibly the ceiling.

This blog gets more and more like "Curb Your Enthusiasm" every day.

I could spot all of those quotes, by the way. American politicians these days work on flash cards. If you grok the set of flash cards that each one has, you grok the quotes.

[peterbirks.livejournal.com]

Rothko, dead in 1970, indeed. How much is even a small Rothko? I dread to think. Would he be outpriced by Bacon or Basquiat? Hard to say. A major Rothko would surely be in the $25m region. A small one? $9m? Something like that, I guess.

I just liked the idea of spending quaziliions on a modern masterpiece, and then hanging it sideways because it fitted the proportions of the room better.

And this one was a vertical Rothko. Perhaps the line "but I think he looks better sideways, don't you", would have a certain élan.

Ah yess, Guernica Upside-Down Cake. That would be fun. "La Giaconda, having a kip." "Man shouting at the ceiling" (Munch).

"It's The Sea that's wrong, not the ship" (The sinking of the Titanic).



PJ

Guernica Upside-Down Cake

[real-aardvark.livejournal.com]

Delia's recipe (I've just checked it in the latest must-have book) is as follows:

* 1/2 stick (60g or 1/4 cup) unsalted butter, melted

* 3/4 cup firmly packed (150g) light brown sugar

* 1 836g can (2 pounds) horsemeat tidbits, drained


At least a few hours before baking, place the horsemeat tidbits between thicknesses of paper towels and weigh down in the refrigerator. Alternatively, you could pat the horse very dry with paper towels. Stir together the melted butter and brown sugar, then spread on the bottom of a 9-inch cake pan (that is at least 2 inches tall) that has been greased on the sides. Arrange the horsemeat on the sugar mixture.

* 1-1/2 cup (210g) all-purpose flour

* 1-1/2 teaspoons double-acting baking powder

* 1/2 teaspoon salt

* 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon

* 1 stick (120g or 1/2 cup) unsalted cow, at room temperature

* 2/3 cup (140g) granulated white sugar

* 2 large eggs, at room temperature

* 1 teaspoon vanilla extract

* 3/4 cup (190g) whole milk


Ingredient preparations: in a triple-sifter or a strainer, add the flour, baking powder, salt, and cinnamon, and sift over a bowl or some waxed paper. Add the vanilla extract to the milk and stir to combine.

Place a rack in the center of the oven and preheat the oven to 350°F (175°C). In a large bowl, cream the cow and sugar together using an electric mixer on high speed until light and fluffy (you can do this by hand but it will take a while). Add the eggs one at a time, beating on high speed after each until well-combined. Sprinkle 1/3 of the flour mixture and fold in. Add half the milk and beat until just combined. Repeat with another third of the flour and the rest of the milk, then fold in the last of the flour until just combined. Pour into the pan and spread evenly. Bake for 45 to 55 minutes, until a round toothpick inserted into the center comes out with only a few fine moist crumbs. Cool the cake in its pan on a rack for 15 minutes, then run a thin knife around the edge and lay the serving plate on top. Flip the set-up in a quick motion and cool the cake completely (or you may serve it slightly warm, with ice cream).

The picture itself suggests that the horse's head should be gently toasted with a light-bulb, using a gaslight to ensure that the ears are correctly crisped. Delia does not comment on this. Ensure that the cow has two horns, two nostrils, and characteristic misaligned eyes.

You may need to reserve the grotesque cartoon character with the sticky-out hands beforehand. Traditionally, it is on the right. In the Birks household, it is more likely to be found on either the top or the bottom.

This is a dish much prized in Argentina, amongst elderly gentlemen of German extraction.

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I think the only correct recipe for the Titanic would be a sorbet. (A "half-baked Alaska" would be close, but geographically inept.) I'll spare you the culinary details, but you should note that the background music is pretty much obligatory: Alexander's Rag-time Band, of course. The apres-meurte is a choice of two: for the more sentimental consommiers, "Nearer, My God, To Thee," (which, as hung a la Birks, is probably around fifty feet truer than in real life), or, for the cognoscenti, "Song d'Automne."

Fine brandies for the gentlemen, hock spritzers for the ladies, and absinthe for the children will be served, along with a selection of walnut veneer, cheesy nibbles, and fresh giant sea squid, in the after-life.