Taste sensational
Aug. 20th, 2011 10:33 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
peterbirksSome 30 years ago, Rich Moore, Kieran Mahoney, Colin Gamble, myself and perhaps a couple of others, possibly including Michelle Ashworth/Moore (not sure if Rich and Michelle were married at this point -- one's memory of the sequence of events inevitably gets hazy over the decades), were on our way back from Newmarket races. We stopped off at a restaurant and had what must be described as one of the worst meals of our lives. All the main courses (I think mine was meant to be steak and chips) were literally inedible. I mean, it was inedible to the extent that even now I can't work out how they could have taken edible food and transmuted it into a state of such inedibility. It was the equivalent of turning base metal into gold, except in reverse.
Such occasions of unconsumable food are rare. The only other example that springs to my mind was at a convention in the late 1970s, probably one of Paul Simpkins' events. At a Chinese in Leeds or thereabouts I was served a dish which appeared to be 90% grease.
And now I have a third candidate for staggering awfulness. Yes, step forward the Kings Aphrodite Taverna, which last night served me a souvla (pieces of lamb slow-roasted on a spit above charcoal) that got to 10 out of 10 for awfulness. Kings Aphrodite backed up this attempt to poison me with service that could at best be described as lacklustre. The owner clearly did not employ enough staff for the number of covers, and of the three waitresses trying to cope with about 60 covers, two were inexperienced/incompetent.
On the plus side, of the five of us, I was the only one to be served dreadful food (everyone else's food was quite good* - update, apparently Amanda's Beef Stifado was very fatty as well, but she didn't complain because she had promised not to!)), although obviously all of us suffered from the bad service. Had any of the waiting staff bothered to ask me whether my food was okay, I would have told them, no, it wasn't. But no-one did bother to ask, despite the fact that I left the meat virtually untouched. I nearly went up to the boss and told him anyway, but I doubt that it would have made much difference. But at least they would suffered less of an online retaliation. In the age of Foursquare and Facebook, the consumer at least has the right of reply.
This is a blatant lie!
Three people were waiting on all of these covers
What was wrong with my food? First, it was a very cheap and fatty cut -- about 60% fat. Secondly, it wasn't good-quality lamb. It was staggeringly tasteless. Third, it tasted as if it was only a day or two away from going off. Fourth, it was not "slow-roasted" as it should have been. It was quick-roasted. This did not give the huge quantity of fat on the cut the chance to "render" onto the charcoal below, which in turn creates the "sizzle" and reciprocates by creating that unique flavour of properly slow-roasted meat over charcoal. Indeed, the cooking time allocated barely gave the fat the time to heat up to a level beyond mildly warm. The lamb tasted like it had been put in cheap vegetable fat and popped in a medium oven for half an hour. (In fact we could see the meat being roasted, and I saw clear evidence that the allocated cooking time was far too short).
What was going on here? Although there were several tourists in the restaurant, there were also a significant number of Cypriots. Were they given different food? Were the tourists just palmed off with crap because the view remains that the British don't know good food from bad? Have these people not seen the quality of good English restaurants today? It was like stepping back into the 1960s.
All in all, it's just a bit of a puzzle. Presumably these restaurants still make money despite their lack of professionalism. Despite the existence of a McDonald's, a Pizza Hut and a KFC, I've seen no evidence of what one might call 'middle-market' chains (Wagamama, Busaba Eat Thai, Café Rouge, Bertorellis) where you can get consistently 'good' (rather than 'sensational') food at a reasonable price, with professional service. I suspect that when these operations arrive, many of the local family-run restaurants will be blown away -- doubtless much to the chagrin of the "big-business haters". But people would have every right to carry on choosing these family-run places -- but they wouldn't. Most of these businesses would die because they are inefficiently run and serve indifferent food.
Cyprus: First Impressions:
What one might call the old British colonies of the Med, Malta, Gibraltar, Cyprus, seem to retain a feel of Britain in the 1960s -- some of the good parts and some of the bad parts. I suspect that many people choose to become expats here because they hanker after that period when you could ride a motorbike without a helmet; you could park your car right outside the bar, pop in, have three beers in full view of a local policeman, and then leave, driving the car in which you arrived. And, of course, they like the weather. I suspect that quite a few of them also like the lack of multiculturalism. That may seem an odd arrow to shoot at a state that currently seems half Greek-Cypriot, a quarter British and a quarter East European (mainly Russia and Romania). But you aren't going to find a halal butcher's in the high street, and you aren't going to see Africans, Caribbeans, or many Bangladeshis (or, in this part of the island, Turks). Cyrpus may be a state of three cultures, and it may have a history of more different cultures running it than most states, but it isn't multicultural. The Russian shops are Russian and the British shops are British. From my walks into town I've actually yet to see a butcher's, a fishmonger's or a fruit and vegetable shop. (The "Covered market" was mainly tourist tat, although there was the traditional fruit and veg market abutting it.)
It would be interesting to see what a real city in Cyprus is like (Nicosia being the obvious example). Do they have Starbucks there (they don't in Paphos)? To what extent has brand globalization arrived, and to what extent does it remain a sleepy backwater where the cutting edge of fashion is to be found in Debenhams and Peacocks?
Although the common comparison in the Guide Book is to Torremolinos, I feel an increasing association (here, in this admittedly small part of the island) with Gibraltar, as if Cyprus is that city-state writ large. The Greek Cypriots are the local Gibraltese, while the British and the Russians (and quite a few Germans) are the overseas incursors who keep the economy alive. Unlike Gibraltar, Cyprus is not a financial centre. It doesn't seem to me to have a great deal of industry, and the land is not overtly suitable for high-yield agriculture (certainly less so than to high-yield real-estate development). Its two advantages are geographical position (anywhere this close to the world's traditional trouble spots has to have a strategic significance for Russia, the UK and the US) and weather (see, real-estate development).
Because it isn't very big, and because it remains a bit of a political hot potato, the large retailers that aren't already here are probably hesitant to move in. Zara, Uniqlo, Gap and the like might not see much of a margin or market (although apparently Next is giving it a go, and Esprit is also planning to open a store). The backwater "feel" of Cyprus might not be the fault of Cyprus, but the fault of its lack of sufficient size. Do Jersey and Guernsey display similar feelings of "a time long ago"?
The impact of this lack of size can't be underestimated. Presumably a railway network requires a population of a certain size (500,000?). While Cyprus seems to maintain an inordinate number of different banks and newspapers, it will inevitably be reliant on imports for a number of goods vital to a modern society. It does not have and does not want (and couldn't have it even if it did want it) a multi-million person state's attitude to how things get done. In smaller societies, more people are related, more people know other people (at least indirectly). "Systems" are inevitably more relaxed. To a Londoner such as myself - where multiculturalism is so entrenched that you can't take anything for granted - this seems inefficient, patrician, introspective. But to others it would seem relaxed, friendly, cozy. And, of course, there's the mountains, the capital, and the Turkish Cypriot side. All of that might be completely different.
Such occasions of unconsumable food are rare. The only other example that springs to my mind was at a convention in the late 1970s, probably one of Paul Simpkins' events. At a Chinese in Leeds or thereabouts I was served a dish which appeared to be 90% grease.
And now I have a third candidate for staggering awfulness. Yes, step forward the Kings Aphrodite Taverna, which last night served me a souvla (pieces of lamb slow-roasted on a spit above charcoal) that got to 10 out of 10 for awfulness. Kings Aphrodite backed up this attempt to poison me with service that could at best be described as lacklustre. The owner clearly did not employ enough staff for the number of covers, and of the three waitresses trying to cope with about 60 covers, two were inexperienced/incompetent.
On the plus side, of the five of us, I was the only one to be served dreadful food (everyone else's food was quite good* - update, apparently Amanda's Beef Stifado was very fatty as well, but she didn't complain because she had promised not to!)), although obviously all of us suffered from the bad service. Had any of the waiting staff bothered to ask me whether my food was okay, I would have told them, no, it wasn't. But no-one did bother to ask, despite the fact that I left the meat virtually untouched. I nearly went up to the boss and told him anyway, but I doubt that it would have made much difference. But at least they would suffered less of an online retaliation. In the age of Foursquare and Facebook, the consumer at least has the right of reply.
This is a blatant lie!
Three people were waiting on all of these covers
What was wrong with my food? First, it was a very cheap and fatty cut -- about 60% fat. Secondly, it wasn't good-quality lamb. It was staggeringly tasteless. Third, it tasted as if it was only a day or two away from going off. Fourth, it was not "slow-roasted" as it should have been. It was quick-roasted. This did not give the huge quantity of fat on the cut the chance to "render" onto the charcoal below, which in turn creates the "sizzle" and reciprocates by creating that unique flavour of properly slow-roasted meat over charcoal. Indeed, the cooking time allocated barely gave the fat the time to heat up to a level beyond mildly warm. The lamb tasted like it had been put in cheap vegetable fat and popped in a medium oven for half an hour. (In fact we could see the meat being roasted, and I saw clear evidence that the allocated cooking time was far too short).
What was going on here? Although there were several tourists in the restaurant, there were also a significant number of Cypriots. Were they given different food? Were the tourists just palmed off with crap because the view remains that the British don't know good food from bad? Have these people not seen the quality of good English restaurants today? It was like stepping back into the 1960s.
All in all, it's just a bit of a puzzle. Presumably these restaurants still make money despite their lack of professionalism. Despite the existence of a McDonald's, a Pizza Hut and a KFC, I've seen no evidence of what one might call 'middle-market' chains (Wagamama, Busaba Eat Thai, Café Rouge, Bertorellis) where you can get consistently 'good' (rather than 'sensational') food at a reasonable price, with professional service. I suspect that when these operations arrive, many of the local family-run restaurants will be blown away -- doubtless much to the chagrin of the "big-business haters". But people would have every right to carry on choosing these family-run places -- but they wouldn't. Most of these businesses would die because they are inefficiently run and serve indifferent food.
Cyprus: First Impressions:
What one might call the old British colonies of the Med, Malta, Gibraltar, Cyprus, seem to retain a feel of Britain in the 1960s -- some of the good parts and some of the bad parts. I suspect that many people choose to become expats here because they hanker after that period when you could ride a motorbike without a helmet; you could park your car right outside the bar, pop in, have three beers in full view of a local policeman, and then leave, driving the car in which you arrived. And, of course, they like the weather. I suspect that quite a few of them also like the lack of multiculturalism. That may seem an odd arrow to shoot at a state that currently seems half Greek-Cypriot, a quarter British and a quarter East European (mainly Russia and Romania). But you aren't going to find a halal butcher's in the high street, and you aren't going to see Africans, Caribbeans, or many Bangladeshis (or, in this part of the island, Turks). Cyrpus may be a state of three cultures, and it may have a history of more different cultures running it than most states, but it isn't multicultural. The Russian shops are Russian and the British shops are British. From my walks into town I've actually yet to see a butcher's, a fishmonger's or a fruit and vegetable shop. (The "Covered market" was mainly tourist tat, although there was the traditional fruit and veg market abutting it.)
It would be interesting to see what a real city in Cyprus is like (Nicosia being the obvious example). Do they have Starbucks there (they don't in Paphos)? To what extent has brand globalization arrived, and to what extent does it remain a sleepy backwater where the cutting edge of fashion is to be found in Debenhams and Peacocks?
Although the common comparison in the Guide Book is to Torremolinos, I feel an increasing association (here, in this admittedly small part of the island) with Gibraltar, as if Cyprus is that city-state writ large. The Greek Cypriots are the local Gibraltese, while the British and the Russians (and quite a few Germans) are the overseas incursors who keep the economy alive. Unlike Gibraltar, Cyprus is not a financial centre. It doesn't seem to me to have a great deal of industry, and the land is not overtly suitable for high-yield agriculture (certainly less so than to high-yield real-estate development). Its two advantages are geographical position (anywhere this close to the world's traditional trouble spots has to have a strategic significance for Russia, the UK and the US) and weather (see, real-estate development).
Because it isn't very big, and because it remains a bit of a political hot potato, the large retailers that aren't already here are probably hesitant to move in. Zara, Uniqlo, Gap and the like might not see much of a margin or market (although apparently Next is giving it a go, and Esprit is also planning to open a store). The backwater "feel" of Cyprus might not be the fault of Cyprus, but the fault of its lack of sufficient size. Do Jersey and Guernsey display similar feelings of "a time long ago"?
The impact of this lack of size can't be underestimated. Presumably a railway network requires a population of a certain size (500,000?). While Cyprus seems to maintain an inordinate number of different banks and newspapers, it will inevitably be reliant on imports for a number of goods vital to a modern society. It does not have and does not want (and couldn't have it even if it did want it) a multi-million person state's attitude to how things get done. In smaller societies, more people are related, more people know other people (at least indirectly). "Systems" are inevitably more relaxed. To a Londoner such as myself - where multiculturalism is so entrenched that you can't take anything for granted - this seems inefficient, patrician, introspective. But to others it would seem relaxed, friendly, cozy. And, of course, there's the mountains, the capital, and the Turkish Cypriot side. All of that might be completely different.
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no subject
Date: 2011-08-20 10:28 am (UTC)The North is even more timewarped than the South - will be very interested to see your observations if you have a chance to go there (I recommend you do the traditional one-day tour, go to the Ledra Palace Hotel crossing west of the Nicosia walls - not the Ledra Street crossing in the centre - and engage a driver to take you to Laurence Durrell's Bellapais, Buffavento castle and Kyrenia; though if you don't have time for that, even a couple of hours walking round the north of the capital is interesting). I spent most of my time in the Presidential palace which was the former British District Commissioner's residence. Talat is a great guy with a very dry sense of humour, and unfortunately got shafted by the Greek Cypriot leadership who aren't interested in negotiating seriously.
Cyprus did have a railway in British times - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cyprus_Government_Railway - but it ran out of money in 1951. Most of the track was in what's now the North. You can detect the remnants of the Nicosia station in what's now a car park just north of the city walls.
You probably know better than I, but I'm surprised to see you state that Cyprus is not a financial centre. The late president Papadopoulos famously laundered money for Milosevic, and Cyprus is on paper the biggest FDI investor in Russia (though presumably this is really Russian money returning from a holiday by the seaside). I suppose its clientele may be more Eastern than the likes of Gibraltar or the Channel Islands, and perhaps the scale of activity isn't as great as the places you were thinking of.
Although I'm not working on Cyprus any more, I still follow what is going on through the excellent "Tales from the Coffee Shop" column in the Cyprus Mail online. There doesn't seem to have been a column last weekend but this is the one from the weekend before. I would love to go back and do more work there.
no subject
Date: 2011-08-20 03:30 pm (UTC)I looked at the transport possibilities and, although it's feasible to get to Nicosia from here (€18 return) there's only one bus in the morning from Paphos and one return, leaving at 14.45. Also, TBH, it's really too bloody hot to be doing much walking around. And Nicosia is hotter and more humid and more subject to power cuts.
Early November would probably be the best time to come here. And Nicosia would be the place to stay (with a hire car). That would sidestrp most of the problems that I have encountered this time round!
PJ
Coeur de Lion
Date: 2011-08-20 06:58 pm (UTC)What Cyprus will probably get, after we all get through this silly rolling banking crash not enough credit whoopsie dearie me deposits just dropped stuff ...
What Cyprus will probably get is a bunch of corner kebab houses and the odd Nando or two. Which I'm sure will be lovely. Plus the odd fish/chips shop to keep the north Briton expatriates (you're correct on that: I know one or two) happy.
What I won't get is a crate of Krug champagne, which I believe I won on a bet with Hugh de Lusignan (yes, he of that ilk) at about 1992 or so on the basis that the industrial application of superconduction was at least ten years away.
I won. He lost. You just cannot trust these Franks, can you?
Last I heard of Hugh, he was doing very well for himself in the City. And I want my frigging crate.
Re: Coeur de Lion
Date: 2011-08-20 07:03 pm (UTC)Re: Coeur de Lion
Date: 2011-08-20 08:55 pm (UTC)Here's a bit of an elaboration, but it hasn't quite reached a proper conclusions.
I think that the general thrust of my attempt at non-judgementalism is that societies made up of smaller populations are likely to be more conservative in attitude, rather than people who are more conservative in attitude are likely to gather in smaller populations. If there is less competition, then there is less need for "get up and go". Perhaps one reason for the driving "have a nice day" attitude in the US is that the US is a very mobile country. If you have a society where there is little mobility of labour, and little mobility geographically (notwithstanding the forced movements post-1974) then there is going to be less change than in societies where there is a higher turnover (e.g., London). That doesn't make London better or worse -- just different. Small-town attitudes, therefore, aren't caused by inhabitants -- they are an inevitable long-term consequence of living in small towns.
PJ
Re: Coeur de Lion
Date: 2011-08-20 11:33 pm (UTC)I don't know whether or not you have noticed (you live in London, after all, and foreigners may well have passed you by), but the entire fish & chips industry in the UK would have fallen apart many years ago without an influx of Greek Cypriots. I don't think that "mobility of labour" is precisely the problem here -- unless it is "outward mobility of anybody who gives a fuck."
And I'm not so sure that the imminent collapse of Cypriot banks can be blamed on small country syndrome. Sure, they (ahem) over-invested in Greece proper ... but then again a lot of fat-cat Greeks appear to have deposited swathes of their money in Cypriot banks, and there's probably some sort of quid pro quo going on there.
Essentially, I think it's more a factor of ingrown culture than simply a "small town" mentality. This probably ties in with the massive amounts of Russian Stalin-U-Like hospitality you've noticed, which I must admit is (frighteningly) new to me.
And London better or worse? You tempt me, you tempt me.
You cannot make London any better than it is.
Did I really say that?
Post number 681 on peterbirks.livejournal.com
Date: 2011-08-21 12:19 am (UTC)http://eru1.myftp.biz/
raghav
Fading Memories
Date: 2011-08-22 10:30 pm (UTC)Just catching up on your blog after returning from a family wedding in Portland. This joyous event was characterised with me talking with assorted cousins and old school friends over events 35-50 years ago. In most cases if you put the various memory versions together you might find something close to the right answer. Additionally the wedding reception was at my old infant school, now a nicely converted Community Hall. Other than the stone arches in the playground which were our old goalposts which were still as was, I could neither find any other bits of the old school nor actually recall what they looked like. I have vague memories of outdoor primitive toilets, but they were long gone. Anyway others did have better memories or imaginations and could place where class roome were. My only excuse is that I have better things to remember, if only I could recall what they were.
So, returning to your blog my mind went back to your story of the famous day out. Now I would say the trip with the meal was actually to a south London track, probably Sandown and the meal (was it at a place called "The Grasshopper"?) was on our way back to UKC. The missus denies being there but says we spent days talking about it. Yes it was a disastrous meal. We declined to do a runner (you werent so fit in those days !) but we got a bill reduction and left no tip. Anyway that's my memory. Cant guarantee its accuracy.
We did do a couple of trips to Newmarket and somehow I do recall one (with Michelle along) which ended in very heavy drinking in a Cambridge pub ("The Salisbury Arms" near the station ?) after which you heroically drove us home across country late at night. During this trip we got somewhat lost, due to a duff navigator, possibly Mahony. At one stage I remember waking up in the back seat to find everyone but you (at the wheel)fast asleep too. I suppose this was acceptable in the early 80s, but one of those foolish misadventures which could have ended in a ditch and a short paragraph or obituary in the local Gazette. Did this really happen ? Well something close to it did.
Anyway I hope the holiday remains enjoyable, the food seems to have improved, along with the swimming. One question, who are your companions ? Work colleagues, fellow travellers or the random collection of a package holiday ? Sorry if I missed that somewhere.
Re: Fading Memories
Date: 2011-08-24 07:53 pm (UTC)I'm with an old games-playing friend whose wife died a couple of years ago -- his daughter, and three of her friends. The rest of Cyprus is made up of stuff that is not quite my cup of tea. Travelling is definitely overrated.
PJ
The North
Date: 2011-08-24 07:02 pm (UTC)I have to say if you ever do go to Nicosia and don't like the heat where you are, then Nicosia is a shock. The last time we were there it was well over 40C with no wind. But it is well worth a visit. It also felt like a serious culture shock to pass through from Lefkosa into Nicosia. Having spent a week or so in the very rural and poor North, to come through into the wealth of shopping centres, McDonalds, Gap and Pizza Hut was very off-putting. There seemed to be a lack of welcome from the Southerners after a lot of love being felt from the Kyrenians.
That said, there isn't a lot to the North on land. Famagusta is old and very interesting and as Nicholas says, Bellapaix is gorgeous. I'd also recommend St Hilarion and Lapta (to the West of Kyrenia) is where Asil Nadir lives/lived (delete according to future). The Karpass peninsular is not worth the huge schlep up to the top. But sat in Kyrenia harbour watching the sun set is like sitting in a picture postcard.
Re: The North
Date: 2011-08-24 07:50 pm (UTC)PJ
no subject
Date: 2011-08-29 08:59 pm (UTC)Excluding tram and trolleybus systems, there are some reasonably small areas with urban rail systems, which probably count, and perhaps some rivalry over which can be the smallest place to have a system. Consider Lausanne (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lausanne_Metro) and Rennes (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rennes_Metro).